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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: too many issues
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, April 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow Mich, you sure got enough extra toppings on your shit sandwich didn't ya?

I certainly hope she didn't wash those Tylenol PM's down with any liquor, if she did, she may have to go shopping for a new liver. People use Tylenol as an "Attention Seeking" attempt of suicide, unfortunately they often don't know the real risk of the damage the combo of that with liquor does to the liver. I have seen it kill several young people.
On the other hand the stuff they give to bind with the Tylenol is awful it's called mucomist, and we in the medical profession call it pukomist, it smell of sulfur, and she will have to drink it every 4 hours.

Now I see this as a total self serving, attention seeking thing. Her parents may not be successful in obtaining a stay for her, if she is alert and oriented, and able to make her own choices, the burden falls to her parents to prove she is a danger to herself or others prior to this, and they have to give specific examples.

Anyway. Stay strong. Protect yourself and your daughter.

(((and strength)))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8463 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
BAMAC
♂ Member
Member # 39334
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, April 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mich, I'm sorry you're going through this. Neither you, nor anybody, deserves to be treated like this.


DDays - 1/26/2013 | 3/23/14
Divorced 7/10/2014

Posts: 83 | Registered: May 2013 | From: TX
Jduff
♂ Member
Member # 41988
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, April 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stay strong, Mich. You are being a rock for your DD. I'm glad the in laws are being supportive of you. Keep doing things for the best interest of yourself and your DD.


Divorced - 5/23/14
Already in my New Beginning - :)

Posts: 484 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: texas
Michman
♂ Member
Member # 41322
Default  Posted: 12:10 PM, April 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tushnurse, is that the same as activated charcoal? No alcohol in the house. She had a similar episode with hydrocodone about 7 years ago, again no alcohol.

WS has been transferred via ambulance to a psychiatric hospital, so I'm guessing she was at least "playing along" with going. Funny thing is, I would have never even told my closest friends or relatives about this before DDay. Now I don't give a crap.

Most people are surprised that acetaminophen is very toxic to the liver, and it's one of those things that take the bare minimum necessary pills. REally easy to get too much, especially if you are also on some OTC cold/flu medication.*

*ps-not a doctor nor in medical profession, but I've had experience.


Betrayal is the only truth that sticks. -Arthur Miller, lol, that's rich.

Posts: 57 | Registered: Nov 2013
Dare2Trust
♀ Member
Member # 21183
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, April 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Michman,

I sent you a PM.


Me BS 59
WH 58
Married 19 years
D-Day Nov 3, 2005
Child: Adopted Daughter 21 College Student now

I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.


Posts: 6118 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, April 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry for the delayed response. N


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8463 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, April 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry for the delayed response. Charcoal is nOt the same. It's a first line treatment. When the acetominophen levels are unknown. Mucomist is given when it's obvious the Tylenol dose is toxic.

Stay strong.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8463 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, April 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Michman)))
Sending strength brother!

Posts: 6572 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Michman
♂ Member
Member # 41322
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, April 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ya know what, despite the events of the last 24 hours, I'm in a good place right now.

I'm at home with my DD. She is sleeping peacefully in the next room. My two Bichon Frise's are taking up 3/4 of a queen size bed. And my WW is in a psychiatric hospital for the next 2 days at least.

Infidelity certainly skews the perception of "the good life."


Betrayal is the only truth that sticks. -Arthur Miller, lol, that's rich.

Posts: 57 | Registered: Nov 2013
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:53 AM, April 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You have found your peace in this. Congrats. That is a huge step.

Enjoy your time with your little angel. Oh and those 2 mean little white dogs.....Slight T/J

We had a bichon dropped at our front door many years ago, and he was mean as hell. He bit me more times than I could count in the 2 weeks it took us to find him a new home. He had a name, but we ended up calling him mean little white dog. So now when I see or think of a Bichon, that's what comes to mind. I'm sure yours are cute as buttons, and sweet. Just a scar on my psyche that a dog didn't love me.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8463 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Michman
♂ Member
Member # 41322
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, April 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And the next day....

Finally hitting me. Calling potential daycare providers, calling attorney's office (hopefully I'll hear back from one of her partners today, but it's the first day of spring break in this area and there are probably either getting ready or already left with their families....)

A visitation at the hospital is Sat. MIL wants to take DD to see WW. WW has not been in any contact with me since our phone conversation on Wed. night.

And so I'm pissed I'm spending my time dealing with this shit.

Many of you were right, and if I had followed your advice, I would be nearing the end of the 6 month mandatory cooling off period, instead, I'll just be starting it.


Betrayal is the only truth that sticks. -Arthur Miller, lol, that's rich.

Posts: 57 | Registered: Nov 2013
Furious1
♀ Member
Member # 42970
Default  Posted: 8:21 PM, April 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't beat yourself up. You had to do what was right for you, when and how it was right for you. Armchair advice is easy give. You were the one walking a mile in your shoes. As such, you are the only one most qualified to make decisions for yourself.

Hang in there. I'm not a lawyer, but it would seem that attempting to commit suicide with her daughter present would hurt her attempts at custody because she was not thinking about DD's welfare. Hopefully, her parents will back you in court about getting custody.


BW: 41
WH: 48
Married 18 years. SD: 25 from his 1st. M. DS: 20 from 1st M. DD: 16 (autistic)

D-day: Oct. 2013 with ongoing revelations.
6 affairs, 1 OC, My sister was OW#5 with countless attempted A's.
Considering R but fully ready to D.


Posts: 293 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
OK now
♀ Member
Member # 14459
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, April 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree. Yours wife's mental instability should help you to get custody and avoid child support payments. Make sure very thing is documented.

Furious1 is spot on, armchair advice is so easy to dispense. You did your best, gave her every chance; you should have no guilty feelings about your efforts to save this marriage.


Posts: 1704 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
Michman
♂ Member
Member # 41322
Default  Posted: 1:30 PM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So WW and I are having a meeting together at the hospital tomorrow. In laws are coming to watch DD and to visit WW later. My mother in law has been acting as intermediary bc WW thinks I want nothing to do with her. I told MIL that she can tell WW she can call so MIL isn't put in that position. I'm a big boy and I can handle talking to WW.

I have an IC tonight and will go over what to expect at the meeting tomorrow. My WW is being treated for bipolar disorder. One thing that worries me is that everyone (WW, inlaws, anyone else) would brush these events off as "oh, she was bipolar so it's ok/understandable and BS, you should just accept what happened because bipolar disorder is terrrible and sometimes this is what happens." Fuck that noise.

Bottom line is this. She will basically have to move heaven and earth to convince me NOT to file for divorce, NOT to go for full custody, NOT to fucking destroy her in open court if necessary to get what I want.


Betrayal is the only truth that sticks. -Arthur Miller, lol, that's rich.

Posts: 57 | Registered: Nov 2013
OK now
♀ Member
Member # 14459
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She will basically have to move heaven and earth to convince me NOT to file for divorce, NOT to go for full custody, NOT to fucking destroy her in open court if necessary to get what I want.

Good for you. So tired of hearing about ruthless WS's who ride roughshod over BS's suffering from shock. Nice to hear from a guy who knows what the objectives are and will do what's necessary to achieve his goals.

Posts: 1704 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She will basically have to move heaven and earth to convince me NOT to file for divorce, NOT to go for full custody, NOT to fucking destroy her in open court if necessary to get what I want.

Quite honestly, there is absolutely no reason for you not to file. There will never be a *better*, more advantageous time for you to file. Cold hearted? Nope, pragmatic.

You can always put a halt to it or re-marry.

Strength


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2822 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
jb3199
♂ Member
Member # 27673
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"oh, she was bipolar so it's ok/understandable and BS, you should just accept what happened because bipolar disorder is terrrible and sometimes this is what happens." Fuck that noise.

Absolutely correct. No free passes given here.

I agree with 5454. If there was ever a chance to make a strong move for the sake of your children...and your own sanity...then this would be it.

Remember, you can always stop the process down the road. Hell, if your WW ever gets her shit together, you can reconcile AFTER a divorce...if it goes that far.


BH-46
WW-44
2 boys-17 & 20(special needs)
Married 21yrs.(together 27yrs.)

All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary Puckett
D-Day: 9/18/09 D-Day#2: 2/19/10 The Marriage Killer: 6/6/11
Heading for D


Posts: 2052 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: northeast
StillStanding1
♀ Member
Member # 40144
Default  Posted: 4:55 PM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to wish you continuing strength. I am so sorry for all you've been through. I hope that the courts will side with you and let you be the good father that your DD needs and deserves. As you've discovered, you cannot fix your WW. She will need to do that on her own, if she wants to badly enough. I am glad you are in the mode now of protecting yourself and your DD.

I hope the light in the distance will grow ever brighter and that peace and happiness return to your life.


Me: 40s BS, Him: 40s WH
M 21 yrs - 3 teens
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday = 2/10/13, he moved out, he officially moved back in 1/25/14 and our work continues...

Posts: 672 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: MidWest
MediumRare
♂ Member
Member # 35128
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Michman,
Sorry if I missed it but several pages back you said you were going to get a paternity test on your daughter. Did that come through positive as you being the father?

What would concern me would be if there is any paternity issue that your WW may try to exploit when/if it comes down to a custody fight. Your lawyer may need to take a totally different angle if your daughter is OM's vs. yours.

It's a terrible thing to think about but unfortunately, I wouldn't put it past the behavior your WW has exhibited and it would be tragic if you lost custody your daughter.


BS (ME): 44
WS(HER): 42
9 years
OM#1- 20-something loser, stole bunch of my things after she had sex with him in our bed (no condoms, STDs)
OM#2- 24 year old, unemployed loser, lives with mom & dad
DDay 1/2012
NC 3/20/2012
SGASDay 4/1/2012

Posts: 716 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: California
Michman
♂ Member
Member # 41322
Default  Posted: 5:49 PM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for support everyone. About to go to IC in about a half hour.

MediumRare-every single attorney I consulted on phone and spoke in their office all said that in the eyes of the court, she is my daughter. At this point it paternity doesn't matter. For me it is a needless expense and to be honest, I don't even care. She is mine and I love her with all my heart, no matter the DNA.

[This message edited by Michman at 9:29 PM, April 8th (Tuesday)]


Betrayal is the only truth that sticks. -Arthur Miller, lol, that's rich.

Posts: 57 | Registered: Nov 2013
Topic Posts: 108
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