I feel like I just finished a 10 year long game of playing house with a very young child. That child got tired of playing at the end of last year and quickly returned to being a big kid.
Every decision he makes shows his complete lack of insight and maturity. He has ruined his life in every possible way and is too damn stupid to even see it or do anything but continue to mess up everything. He is mentally a child which makes him a piss-poor father. The only thing he has consistently done (so far) is pay CS. That is it. At this point I can't talk to him about anything involving the kids because it's like he literally can't understand English at times. Yet no matter how little he does, he sees a great man and a great father so nothing compels him to do better.
The long list of stupid shit he's done that continues to grow and the consequences he deals with because of it doesn't make a bit of difference. He will stick to the same idiotic course if it costs him everything (and it pretty much has). This time last year he was a man with a wife, three kids, a big home that he owned, 2 completely paid off cars, a decent chunk of savings, no debt, a retirement account...a future! Now...nothing but his job that gives him an income to blow on stupid shit. He currently doesn't even have a damn car (Mr. Repo man finally showed up). I'm barely getting any SS but since he has nothing and it's a piddly amount anyway, it's not even worth fighting for. I'm just thankful that I have not been dependent on SS (CS is unfortunately a different story since I'm a 10-year SAHM who has only been able to attain a part-time job so far).
He has always been the king of non-answers but now I'll ask him a basic question or say something in the simplest and most straight-forward way possible and he still can't seem to grasp what I'm saying. He didn't want to be a husband anymore because the single man's grass looked greener. Fine, whatever. Now that he sees it's not, he won't even pretend to be a decent father or anything else anymore. He just wallows in self-pity , tells stupid lies (that I don't bother to let on that I know it's a lie anymore) and make stupid excuses while doing the most asinine things instead of trying to get himself together.
If I hadn't read so damn much about PD's I would swear down he just literally lost his mind.
I'm so sick of dealing with this small child in a gigantic body and seeing his stupidity change our kid's lives for the worst. He uses his self-created disaster of a life as an excuse to be a completely uninvolved father. He's waiting for me to make everything as easy as possible so he can be out of "reasons" for being such a waste of oxygen. It's not fair to them that they no longer have a father after spending their entire lives living with illusion of a decent one. It would be one thing if he had died but it's like he had a mental and moral death while his body just keeps going. Of course the kids don't understand what happened, hell..I barely have a grasp on what happened.
I wish he would get some fucking help so that he can do better for himself and our kids. But he won't. The odds are excellent that he never will and even if he lives to be 100, he will die the same immature and illogical asshole he is today.