Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: darkchyld (45368)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Anybody elses MC say dont tell?
♂ Member
Member # 23667
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Phone in counseling? Never heard of such a thing. It works? Any concerns about the therapist NOT being able to observe things like body language? Was it similar cost to in-person counseling? This is very exciting for me because counselors of ANY type are slim in my neck of the woods.

Yes, it was amazing how well it worked. And I was very skeptical....

They called it, phone coaching. They worked with my wife and I at 8:00 pm once a week for 6 weeks. (yes, evening appointments after the little ones were tucked in) The secession lasted about an hour to an hour and a half. They spent approx. 20 minutes with just me and about the same with my wife, then we went to speaker phone to listen to our assignments and discuss any questions/solutions until we were done.... They gave us reading and writing assignments to complete and had a plan laid out for us to follow immediately. We did everything they asked and they helped us with every question we had. It was not easy, but it was worth it... If you're interested, you can find them at marriagebuilders dot com and click on the coaching center link at the top.

It was more expensive per session than what I could find for a 45 min session locally, but we were finished up after 8 sessions. None of this drag it out week after week discussing useless information for the next year+ ... In the end, far less money overall than conventional marriage counselling.

WH (me)
BS (her)

D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007

"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!

Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin

Posts: 570 | Registered: Apr 2009
New Member
Member # 40145
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BS -

Sadly, this psychopath (boiler bunny is often used here), she chose us, and I do mean both of us.

She knew we were both grieving and caring for terminally ill family members, dealing with estates, of my husband's past with child abuse - (generally we were both mentally and physically drained and had to go in opposite directions due to where our families are located) and knew how to push the all the right buttons. His AP (aka IT) was so nice and helpful, and used all this to lure my husband in, while I trusted IT as a friend.

This affair wasn't about love, but a psychopath wants control, and to destroy good people to give their lives meaning.

So, while this is hard to think of them together , I knew this wasn't MY husband. He honestly became his scummy Father after his Dad's unexpected death on top of everything else we were dealing with, with this psychopath's grooming, stalking - and I mean serious stalking - and mental controlling tactics.

IT (nothing human here), was my husband's father's neighbor and confidant, even told my husband - "you know your dad always envisioned us together. He knew we were soul mates." Soul mates - hahahhahaha - is one of the classic lines used by Psychos.

When things came out, I couldn't give in or up on my husband to this ALIEN creature.

So how am I dealing with it? I still get triggered, but know I have to control myself and not give IT any more power in our lives.

My husband's basically wants vomit at the thought of what he did. But he too doesn't want to give IT any more power either. IT's taken too much of our time, energy and emotion already.

AND we could not have gotten through this without counseling. My husband is still in counseling, and we are now both aware of how prevalent psychopaths are in the world.

Check out these books. Psychopath-free, or The sociopath next door, or The gift of fear for more reading on these types of social pariahs . THey are hard reading at times (I cried a lot while my husband became furious, and we both felt like fools for falling for IT's game , but these along with Infidelity: a survivor's guide, really put things into perspective for us.

Sadly our situation was a perfect storm of life events, trauma and a psychopath's wish to create havoc to give some meaning to IT's very sad, pathetic life. Yet we feel sorriest for her husband and kids, because while we can move on, they can't.

Posts: 9 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 22
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum: Reconciliation Post Reply to this Topic
Go to :
© 2002 - 2014 All Rights Reserved.