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Newest Member: whathappensnext (45075)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: exWH wants to buy house things
hurting2much
♀ Member
Member # 25643
Default  Posted: 7:46 AM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Little background: XWH left the house in Jan 13, after we agreed on a divorce, to start his "new life" with OW#?. He was extremely motivated to leave the house. We went through the house, and divided the stuff up. I was more than willingly to give him half of the furniture, exercise equipment, lawn equipment, etc. But he was moving into an apartment, and like I said, was motivated to leave, as he and OW were already talking about their marriage.

Divorce final in March, with the stipulation that everything in the house would be legally mine within 60 days, if he didn't get his stuff out. Well, that day came and went.

Today I get an email from him. He wants to buy the lawn equipment from me for $400. Now this is a huge riding lawn tractor, aerator, thatcher. I think it is worth alot more than that. And he wants the buy the exercise equipment. I was thinking of selling this stuff to pay for the house taxes next year. I didn't use these things this year.

I am sure a "people pleaser" that my first reaction was to sell it to him. I don't want to rock the boat. I know that sounds stupid because there is NO boat to rock. Why am I still putting him and his wants before mine? He had his chance to get this stuff.

Crap...I need a damn backbone. I don't want to deal with this. He made his choice, now just leave me alone.


Divorced

Posts: 1105 | Registered: Sep 2009
Take2
♀ Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 7:52 AM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Check out the prices online (make and model) then decide if what he is offering is fair... and it is worth the price of even having to deal with him at all. The riding mower is likely worth ALOT more.


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4113 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
lifestoshort
♀ Member
Member # 18442
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with take2


6/07 EX had several Emotional/sexual A
FALSE Reconciles. cheats again. D 5/09
2013- 10 month marriage &D to friend. he was a lyin, freeloadn biploar mess.
NOW? Living my life and loving it.


Posts: 691 | Registered: Mar 2008
thenon-goddess
♀ Member
Member # 31229
Default  Posted: 8:22 AM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ummm...$400?! Yeah, no way. Tell him you'll look in to the current going price for the items in the condition they're in and you'll give him first dibs on them. THAT is more than nice enough, all things considered.


Status: divorcing
Typing on an iPhone - please excuse the typos!

Posts: 1244 | Registered: Feb 2011
hurting2much
♀ Member
Member # 25643
Default  Posted: 8:40 AM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I searched online. The tractor alone is selling on ebay for $900. He is wanting 5 accessories that go with the tractor (aerator, dethatcher, trailer, etc).

I am so anxious about this. Dealing with money issues with him has always made me feel anxious. I feel like I have to make up excuses to tell him "no"...why??? He knew he was leaving this stuff behind and it didn't seem to bother him when his "soul mate" was waiting for him at home.

I hate being anxious, and he is the only one who makes me feel this way.

I could just reply to his email, stating I didn't use them this season, but will use them next season...again...why do I feel the need to make excuses? Why do I give a crap about his feelings?


Divorced

Posts: 1105 | Registered: Sep 2009
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you want to sell him the stuff, sell it for what it's worth. Don't cut him any deals, just pretend he's any other buyer off the street.

If you don't want to sell it, don't. The end.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3364 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

and don't give a crap about his feelings. if he rages because he doesnt' get his way, ignore him. it probably worked for him in the past to throw a temper tantrum to get his way, well it doesn't work with you anymore.

when you start to doubt yourself, keep this in mind:

He knew he was leaving this stuff behind and it didn't seem to bother him when his "soul mate" was waiting for him at home.

fuck that guy


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3364 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
hurting2much
♀ Member
Member # 25643
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks guys! I am amazed at myself, at how weak I am when it comes to him. I am ashamed that I feel anxious.

I sent him a short email, stating I am using the stuff/going to need the stuff next season. He replied "I understand. Thanks."

Why even ask me for the stuff...I know the answer to that...because in the past, I gave him what he wanted, even though I didn't want to.


Divorced

Posts: 1105 | Registered: Sep 2009
Mousse242
♀ Member
Member # 6330
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If it's something you will need to replace. Don't do it.

If it's something you were going to sell anyway, give him the first offer. Make it a fair price but not a "deal" by any means. Look up what the exercise stuff if currently going for and offer it to him at that price. Don't go back and forth on it, this is the price, you want it or you don't.


Posts: 5473 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Chicago
momentintime
♀ Member
Member # 16394
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He doesn't need to know if you use the stuff. He left it, the D decree said it was yours after 60 days. He knows all this. That is why he is offering to buy it. (However, he wants it dirt cheap because he doesn't think you know what they are worth, and he is use to getting his way).

Now is the time to let him know he isn't in the driver's seat anymore. Don't sell him anything. He and cutie pie can buy their own stuff.

[This message edited by momentintime at 6:28 PM, November 14th (Thursday)]


BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd

"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl


Posts: 2983 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: New York
Gr8Lady
♀ Member
Member # 36307
Default  Posted: 2:00 AM, November 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Listen, I know all about being too nice. Picture this...OW rising around on the Lawnmower purchased at a bargain from you.

Oh hell no. Sell that stuff and do something nice for yourself. Why should Exwh get a bargain. You owe him nothing.

Put on those bitch boots...that stuff is yours and worth money. Let him go to Sears and buy what he needs to take care of his love nest.. It isn't your responsibility to give him a bargain.


BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
So done,

Posts: 615 | Registered: Jul 2012
Gr8Lady
♀ Member
Member # 36307
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Better yet. YOU post items on Craigslist for appropriate price send him link, state according to fair market value, this is the listing, you are welcome to make an offer. I am sure you want to abide by the fairness I extended to you as I divided items in house pre divorce in a fair manor.


End of story


BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
So done,

Posts: 615 | Registered: Jul 2012
Topic Posts: 12

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