Updated on 1/8/2013:
I sent my wife some poems and texted her that I was concerned for her health since she has been sick. I went to visit my daughter and I played with her for an hour. I hid a card in my WW's coat with some encouraging messages. She asked my daughter if I wanted to help put her to bed and so I did. They were low on diapers and pull ups so I went and go some while picking up my medication.
My WW calls me and asks me to go to the store to get her a Java Chip drink from starbucks and some cookies for a co-workers birthday. I get the cookies and then I get the drink, but I got the wrong one. I was excited to get it to her because I figured she would think good about me.
She later says she shouldn't have ask me to do that. I was bummed by that statement, because for some reason it made me felt used. I drop the stuff off and she kept texting me and i left the phone in the van to charge while going inside a place to get something to eat. Because i got her the wrong drink she saids the following:
"Do you always not listen to me because I'm not important to you?"
I express to her how upset i was that I failed and even said something on the lines I will probably never get it right. She should find somebody else.
she responds. You didn't listen to what I said, you said go find someone else and I appreciate you going for me I really do. I appreciate a lot you do, but you always get like this when you don't pay attention. Why not just say oh sweeties i'm so sorry. please forgive me and acknowledge that maybe i feel hurt for you not listening. and then i will just be ok. but no you always go off the deep end. frown and now you you're hurt and goodnight to me.
I say that actually makes a lot of since when you put it like that. I apologized and try to resolved the issue right then and there, this all over text. I share an article with her from Love and Respect as I explained to her how her question made me feel and said she feels like she is being attacked.
She said that sometimes i think you read too much. that just makes me feel like not even trying anymore.
I asked her why you want to give up now.
Because is this how you're always going to be now she says.
I explain to her I am trying to improve our relationship by reading and figuring out things.
1. You can't learn everything about a relationship from reading those books, you have to actually live it!
2. I told you something that upset me or made me feel unimportatn and then you send me an article that basically is like i'm attacking you.
I told her I just wanted her to understand my point of view.
then she retorts "it like you say you get it, or understand or your sorry then it like you attack me with something."
I tell her i just wanted you to understand me,
She says it's not always a good time to point things out at someone at that moment when they already feel unimportant already.
I apologized that I made her feel unimportant. She says
I forgive you but I am hurt at the moment. I'm, sorry
I say I am sorry too, i should of addressed your emotions and discussed what I can do.
she send me a sad face and thats the end of the discussion.