Speaking from experience. My parents divorced when I was 14. I was given a 'choice' of who I wanted to live with. I 'chose' my alcoholic dad simply because I wanted to stay put where my friends were. My mom left and moved away. She left me with a non functioning raging alcoholic. Total selfishness on both their parts. You just don't do that to kids.

The worst thing for your 15 year old nephew is to be given this choice. It will set him up for untold guilt and misery for years to come. This is a terrible position for your sister to put her son in. My parents both loved me, but they both put their own needs before us kids. I hope your sister will reconsider.

The worst thing for your 15 year old nephew is to be given this choice

For quite a while, Stbx had been dropping hints that he was thinking about moving and was going to try to take the kids with him and I had NEVER mentioned any of that to any of the kids. That court hearing was the first time I heard that he had spoken to DS about this and all I knew from that hearing was that DS had indicated that he would like to move with stbx.

After the hearing, I came home and told DS about the issue that had been raised in court that day and I asked him about the events leading up to it -- which is how I know about the homes/school stuff. All of a sudden, DS just breaks down in tears......and as I was hugging him and telling him that it was okay, I also asked him which part of *this* was he so upset about?

His exact response was: "Because I said yes" and started crying harder.

It was heart-breaking.