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Newest Member: lovingmyson21 (45342)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: HB, lingerie, & sex. (Tmi) Help I'm weird.
Yakamishi
♂ Member
Member # 38230
Shutup  Posted: 5:24 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, this is probably TMI, and at the very least, a little weird. Probably more than a little.

MY WW and I are 14 months out. She had an EA/PA for 3 years on and off. Reconciliation has a been a bit of a rollercoaster. (I know preaching to the choir, right?)But we are doing real well. And the good days DEFINITELY outnumber the bad.

We had HB during the initial 6 months or so. However, I'm not sure it stopped. We still have sex 5-6 times a week.And if I had my way it would probably be every day. Not necessarily for the physical part, but for the love. And perhaps...validation. The sex is terrific and we both enjoy it. Although WW would prefer slightly less, about 4 times per week. Pre D Day our sex life I considered good, about twice a week. I'm not complaining about the present, but isn't HB supposed to wind down further than this?

This is embarrassing to put it mildly, but another odd "side effect" I've experienced is my desire to buy lingerie for WW. It's almost compulsive. We joke every time we go shopping that I'll need to go by the lingerie aisle and pick up something. I honestly enjoy buying the items for her and like to see her dressed up. Before D Day I would buy her something maybe once a year or so. Now it's like once or twice a month. I don't now what it is. Whether it's linked to HB, like I'm trying to regain control or something?

I sometimes wonder, or worry, that I'm developing some sort of sex addiction. But the desires only involve my WW. Sure, I look at other woman, but there is zero desire. Not even from a revenge affair stand point.

So is this real freaking strange or what?


Me: BH
Her: WW Mrs.yaka
Kids:4
Variouse clues to EA. WW promised it would stop.
D-Day of EA 9/13/2012 2:01PM found 2 yrs of text messages, confessed to EA
D-Day of PA: confessed on 9/22/12 11:53 PM. Worst moment of my life

Posts: 222 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Massachusetts
Mrs Panda
♀ Member
Member # 27303
Default  Posted: 6:30 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

can you afford it? Does she like it? If so, I don't see Much of a problem.

maybe you are afraid of losing the "fire" and are using this as a tool to avoid more intimacy?

Certainly doesn't sound like a sex addiction as you are doing this for your wife and you .

I know every time I browse in some stores, I can't resist certain items. Books and makeup my weaknesses.


Me-41 FWW Him-45BH
M 13years. Reconciled.
DDay#1 Nov 2008 (OM2)
DDay#2 Aug 2009 (Confessed to OM 2001)
"Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand." -Kurt Vonnegut

Posts: 1992 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: The SouthEast
MartlArts
♀ Member
Member # 36130
Default  Posted: 6:36 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you're both happy with this I can't see the issue either. And I'm no expert on SA, but if it's only your wife you desire I don't think that qualifies. Good for you both!


excerpt from an awesome quote "Forgiveness - the finishing of old business that allows us to experience the present, free of contamination from the past."

Posts: 1003 | Registered: Jul 2012
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 6:40 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not strange. That's great. We too had a decent sex life preA. Post A it's wild. 4-5-7 times a week. Lots of toys and lingere. It was liberating. But we have fun, and enjoy the intimacy. I say it's healthy. My teens think its weird.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8709 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 6:49 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds normal to me. It will probably taper off but you're married and love each other, enjoy it.


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7483 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
SoVerySadNow
♀ Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I say good for you, and have fun!


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
Topic Posts: 6

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