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Newest Member: keljoack (44931)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Checking in
tamarack
♀ Member
Member # 14554
Default  Posted: 6:18 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Haven't been on an SI in a very long time so I wanted to check back in.

Really don't have much of an update. Still working insane hours just trying to make ends meet, trying my best to take care of two children who are growing like weeds and eating me out of house and home. Good news is that I'm now working from home telecommuting to work, so I no longer spend two hours a day sitting in rush hour traffic. But that's my life in a nut shell, my kids and my job.

Nothing new with XH either. Other than an occasion email to the kids about how much he loves them and misses them, none of us have had any contact with him in years. In this case, that's a very good thing. And yes, he remains a complete deadbeat.

I also wanted to offer some hope for those of you who are just staring out on this journey. It is ROUGH! Even now, 6 1/2 years after dday, there are days when I wonder how in the world I'm going to do it all by myself. Fact is, I don't do it all, I just try to do the best I can.

Life now is infinitely easier than it was six years ago. I cannot thank my friends at SI enough for carrying me through the first few years. You laughed with me. You cried with me. You encouraged me when I felt like giving up. You were there for me every step of the way, making me who I am today. My wounds have healed and the scars serve as a permanent reminder that I did survive infidelity .


Me: 42 WH: 58, sociopath
OW: 54-year-old nutcase
married 10 years, 2 kids (12 & 13)
DDay: 5/2/07
divorced

"I had no back up plan. Just freefalling till I landed" - TrainerCarrie


Posts: 3554 | Registered: May 2007 | From: suburbs of Denver, CO
ArkLaMiss
♀ Member
Member # 14918
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hiya! So what became of the property and all that stuff, Tam? Did you EVER get back cs from him? Oh, and what abt yhe crazy ow?
Glad you and kids are ok!


Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

Posts: 1190 | Registered: Jun 2007
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 6:43 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I still think about you and I am GLAD to see you!!


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5816 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
betrayedfriend
♀ Member
Member # 19785
Default  Posted: 7:07 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad to see you and hear everything is going well Tam!


I originally joined SI as a way to help my best friends find ways of coping with infidelity, but now infidelity has touched my family much closer to home.

Posts: 867 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest USA
risingfromashes
♀ Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you so much for the update!


There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1632 | Registered: Mar 2004
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad you checked in. I was thinking about you recently.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7643 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
cantlivewithouth
♀ Member
Member # 11939
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Holy Crow! I was just thinking about you yesterday! I'm so glad you checked in! Happy to hear you are doing well.


Married a truly wonderful and loving man Sept. 19, 2010. Not only survived, but thrived.

My new mantra: Argue Your Limitations.‎


Posts: 40985 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: Canada by way of Virginia
Catwoman
♀ Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad to see you, Tam.


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29610 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
travels
♀ Member
Member # 20334
Default  Posted: 9:21 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was thinking of you the other day.
I take it your Ex hasn't sent the kids any dirty toys for Christmas presents lately?


When one door closes, another door opens. It's the journey through the hallway that sucks.

Posts: 3772 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: PA
tamarack
♀ Member
Member # 14554
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, November 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No contact from XH in several years other than an occasional email to the kids. Which they ignore, neither of them wants anything to do with him

The house in Idaho is in foreclosure. They missed way too many mortgage payments, and I'm certainly in no position to pay a huge chunk of money I don't have only to wind up with a big property I cannot possibly afford At least foreclosure will break the last hold he has over me, which has been a noose hanging over my head pretty much since dday. Yes, my credit will be destroyed, but at least I can start fresh.


Me: 42 WH: 58, sociopath
OW: 54-year-old nutcase
married 10 years, 2 kids (12 & 13)
DDay: 5/2/07
divorced

"I had no back up plan. Just freefalling till I landed" - TrainerCarrie


Posts: 3554 | Registered: May 2007 | From: suburbs of Denver, CO
FirstLoveGone
♀ Member
Member # 25957
Default  Posted: 10:43 PM, November 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nice to see an update from you. There are so many stories I follow that I lose track of posters sometimes. But I remember your story well.

Thanks for checking in.


Posts: 1269 | Registered: Oct 2009
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 9:36 AM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey, Tam.

Great to hear from you!

I think about you every Christmas - you know, the old toys via the mail incident.

Glad to hear you're hanging in there!

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21050 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
tamarack
♀ Member
Member # 14554
Default  Posted: 3:38 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think about you every Christmas - you know, the old toys via the mail incident.

I still laugh about it every Christmas. He no longer sends them any presents


Me: 42 WH: 58, sociopath
OW: 54-year-old nutcase
married 10 years, 2 kids (12 & 13)
DDay: 5/2/07
divorced

"I had no back up plan. Just freefalling till I landed" - TrainerCarrie


Posts: 3554 | Registered: May 2007 | From: suburbs of Denver, CO
Topic Posts: 13

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