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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Will I ever get there
mof2
♀ Member
Member # 40287
Default  Posted: 6:55 AM, November 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It has been over 9 months since Dday and the divorce was final at the beginning of October. We don't have any kids together and he has moved to another city. I have only seen him 3 times since this happened and it still hurts. The guy is a totally emotionally retarded, immature, irresponsible douche bag, so why do I still hurt and think about it. Mind you, I don't think about it as much, but I still feel so much anger and want to email him and tell him what a FREAK he is. I do hold back though. He emailed me two days ago to return some cable boxes since I changed the cable over to another provider because he will get charged for the old ones. Why the hell would I do that for HIM after what he has done to me. I didn't even email him back. In fact, I blocked him from my email and his number from my phone. I just want to get past this completely. He and his mistress aren't even worth thinking about.


BW - Me 43
WH - Cheating Swine 43
Dday - February 12, 2013....a week before I was to give birth to the child I miscarried and 12 days before our 5th anniversary.

Posts: 316 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: DFW
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, November 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're right, M - about everything.

The guy is a totally emotionally retarded, immature, irresponsible douche bag

Yes, he is, or else he wouldn't have cheated.

I didn't even email him back. In fact, I blocked him from my email and his number from my phone.

Excellent. I have an aunt who divorced her piece of shit back in 1970. She had to meet him twice while divorcing, and then hasn't seen him since. That's great, and can only be good for your recovery.

I just want to get past this completely.

It's been a year since my DDay, and I'm not past it yet. I'm sure we both still have a ways to go, but we'll get there.

He and his mistress aren't even worth thinking about.

You totally nailed that one. It just takes us a while to get there.

Keep being strong. You deserve a happy life, and you will get there some day.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2143 | Registered: Jan 2013
mof2
♀ Member
Member # 40287
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, November 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for your reply Pass. It's amazing how I can put a post on here when I am hurting and somebody can come back saying just the right thing to make me feel better. It is so unfair what the selfish crazies have done to us. Hope you have a great weekend!


BW - Me 43
WH - Cheating Swine 43
Dday - February 12, 2013....a week before I was to give birth to the child I miscarried and 12 days before our 5th anniversary.

Posts: 316 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: DFW
Thefly559
♂ Member
Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, November 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry. Be glad that you are smart enough to know to cut him off completely ! That is great! I wish I could do the same. All I can say is time. It sucks but time is what we all need. You are strong and deserve much more . You will have it. Good luck


"what does not kill you , makes you stronger"

Posts: 690 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, November 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

mof2 - You better believe you will get there. You're already well on the way!

When I was a kid, my parents always took us on 2-week long car trips in the summer. We would drive all over the place - The Badlands, The Grand Canyon, Garden of the Gods, Continental Divide, Yellowstone... and when we'd get squirrely from the long hours in the car, complaining and whining, "are we there yet?," my father would make us drag out the atlas and trace the miles we had already traveled, highlight the sights we had already visited.

So take a minute, mof2, and measure the miles you've already covered. See how far you have already come. The road ahead is smoother than the road behind you, and you are picking up speed.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25843 | Registered: Aug 2011
Lost15
♀ Member
Member # 40898
Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, November 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are right mof2 they aren't worth thinking about. Unfortunately its easier to say than do. Because I have been feeling the same way lately. If I could completely block my stbxh from my life I would, but we have a child together so it isn't as easy. Hang in there.


me(BS)-34 him(WS)-32 DS-15
Married 15 years
Blindsided with divorce 07-12-13
DD-08-1-13 OW-40ish,married 20 yrs, with 4 kids she abandoned
Divorcing and trying to move one tiny step forward at a time.

Posts: 114 | Registered: Oct 2013
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 4:42 PM, November 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You will get there mof2! You are already on the path. Its hard work and it hurts but one day we will all be on the other side.

Its hard not to think of them. We generally spent most of our waking hours thinking of them and putting there needs first for so many years. To me its a habit that I work on daily to break. One day it will be a habit no more.

((mof2)) you will get through this. One day at a time. You are already down the path of healing, sometimes the backlash of pain just makes it hard to see how far we have actually progressed.


Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou


Posts: 756 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, November 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Time, time, time, time! It has been one year for me. I am still in pain. Far out from indifference. But I am LIGHT YEARS from where I was a year ago, eight months ago, six months ago, FOUR months ago. (Don't believe me? If you have a few days, read the longest threads in the history of SI--mine! ;-)

It's a nearly daily record of one person's journey through hellish pain--and a decision to end it.

I wish you strength, now and in time.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1649 | Registered: Dec 2012
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, November 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are in a much better place than I was at nine months out. You're doing great. Nine months is a relatively short period of time so it is still going to hurt. But you will find that cutting him out and blocking him, etc. will do wonders for your healing. Keep it up and you'll be there in no time!

[This message edited by ruinedandbroken at 6:58 PM, November 15th (Friday)]


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
mandan66
♂ Member
Member # 40075
Default  Posted: 6:58 PM, November 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Same here, mof2. I am still hurting, 10 months from dday, and 2 months past divorce. But wow---from where I was, its amazing. Never thought I'd get over this, frankly. And I see my loser X 3 times a week, due to my kids.
Most days now, I do think I'll get there. Not every day, but most days. You'll get there too---just be good to yourself, and keep putting good memories on top of the bad ones.


Me: 47; WW: 48
2 DS: 9, 14
M:18--T:19
DDay: Jan/13
Divorced and Done!--7/13

Posts: 121 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: KS
mof2
♀ Member
Member # 40287
Default  Posted: 6:01 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so thankful I never had kids with him. I did suffer a miscarriage 7 months before he left and I felt like God intervened on that one (I was due to have that baby a week after he walked out). Thank you ALL for you posts. I don't know any of you personally, but appreciate you all to pieces.


BW - Me 43
WH - Cheating Swine 43
Dday - February 12, 2013....a week before I was to give birth to the child I miscarried and 12 days before our 5th anniversary.

Posts: 316 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: DFW
Topic Posts: 11

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