Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: waugh (44311)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: help! need support. he's not coming home tonight
runningfrompain
♀ New Member
Member # 41147
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, he took my daughter fishing today & it went ok. He's pretty sad because I think reality is hitting him. My daughter is angry with him but is having a hard time speaking directly to him about it. He's still pretty much saying the right things but let's face it, 24 hours ago he wasn't answering my calls because he was eating a home-cooked meal at OW'S house (UGH!!!). I've emphasized the need to show motivation, remorse & most of all NC over a period of time. Im worried he doesn't have the staying power to give it what it takes but I guess time will tell.

Posts: 35 | Registered: Oct 2013
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So is he home now?

I do not believe after spending the night at OW's he suddenly gets it the following day after reading SI.

Be careful, please.


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3775 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
OnAnIsland
♀ Member
Member # 34319
Default  Posted: 2:06 AM, November 18th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read your post and updates. Please take care of yourself and your daughter. He is not nearly healthy enough to get to be home with you. He needs a lot of counseling and soul searching. Protect yourself. Watch for sustained behavioral change and actions, not words. He seems to be good with words at crucial moments, but his actions that I have read here suggest a wayward deep in the fog.


D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013

Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful boys in elementary school

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou


Posts: 1477 | Registered: Dec 2011
mesoSTUPID
♀ Member
Member # 35679
Default  Posted: 4:27 AM, November 18th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dear Pain, I do not know how old your daughter is but your post just made me realize it's a good thing WH told our daughters about his A. His AP was a family friend and I refused to have any more lies in the house and I was also concerned that MOW would try and reach out for information through the girls (MOW had direct access to girls). My daughters were 17 and 15 at the time.

I have had times where I've regretted that we told the girls. Mainly, because our youngest was annoyed by him or did at first. She seems to be getting better. I am not sure if it's the realization that she'll be going off to college soon.

I just didn't want my daughters filing in the blanks and most importantly I refused to hear another lie coming out of his mouth.

Having the girls knowing also made them more sensitive about affair/infidelity topics especially on television. Since they knew, they never questioned when a channel was changed abruptly or when I triggered while watching a movie. They knew EXACTLY what was going on...


ME (BS): 41 and so stupid!
Him (WH): 43. He's my dragon slayer but my heart wasn't supposed to be slayed!

Posts: 193 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Miami
runningfrompain
♀ New Member
Member # 41147
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, November 18th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello, he is not home& will be staying out all this week. I am a physician & am on call this weekend, meaning I could have to leave at any crazy hour. I am thinking that I will let him stay in the house this weekend with our daughter, then she doesn't have to stay in some hotel. I can stay maybe at a friends house &/or have him sleep in our (finished) basement. Does anyone have any thoughts or experience with this?

Posts: 35 | Registered: Oct 2013
silverhopes
♀ Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 9:51 PM, November 18th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How old is your DD? Does she have any good friends who she wouldn't mind having a sleepover with on the weekend? It seems like it is too soon to let your H stay in the house. He was with OW the other day, right? I think time and distance from him are your friend right now, even if he's saying the right things and promising to change. JMO, he shouldn't come back to the house for a while if you can manage.


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
"Not my monkeys. Not my circus." ~Polish proverb (<~~~ as a codependent person, this comes in handy sometimes!)

Posts: 3882 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, November 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey running

I agree with silver.

I wouldnt have him in the house alone and I wouldn't want him with you. You are in a delicate place right now, it's easy to fall into false hopes when they say and do the right things for a short time (the weekend) It has taken a lot of courage for you to make him leave, don't use your being on call as a reason to undo your work.

(((hugs)))


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3775 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Topic Posts: 47
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

Return to Forum: Reconciliation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.