I'm getting by doing the basic things, getting my son to school (daughter is still home with me), getting them fed, just doing what I can to get by and I feel guilty for not being able to do more. I've also been hospitalized twice since everything happened (I think some of it was stress related) and I keep getting sick and I worry that I'm not going to be able to do this much longer. Plus my job is insane (I'm self-employed) but I have to keep going if I'm going to continue saving money.
I guess I think that I'm hiding it all from them, but so worried about how it's all going to effect them.
My children are doing remarkably well, despite all sorts of terrible factors. They don't know about anything bad (custody battle, their father's problems). Their teachers say they're doing great. However, my older child was affected more, and he sometimes feels sad that we're not an intact family. He spent almost two years believing that somehow his parents would reconcile.
My daughter, who was four, can't really even remember when her father lived here. I think that's actually better.
Anyhow, the best advice I received was to take care of myself so that I was able to take care of my kids. It's a cliche, but it's true. Every says that if "you're good, your kids will be good," and this is very very true.
Do you have childcare so you can get your work done? Can you organize lots of playdates so that you can get more breaks? As for hiding the news from the kids, I think that the experts would tell you to sit down and talk to your kids pretty soon. You can google this - there are lots of resources online.
But mostly, we all need to take care of ourselves so that we can be the very best parents possible during even the worst situations. It's hard but so true. (((HUGS)))
I know it is so painful and I am so sorry for your pain. You do NOT deserve this. It does get better but it takes time. Just hold on for now and the sun will eventually come back to your life.
I've been very open with my kids about what's happening, BUT I don't put any responsibility on them for making me feel better. They have a counselor, they have other adults in their lives who know what's happening and can gently talk with them when they need to talk. It's been important to normalize for them what's happening and for them to know that no matter what, Mom is going to be okay and will take care of them.
Children are very resilent, and seems that if you present it to them that there needs are all still going to be met, they are okay.