SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

OK guys and gals....have a few questions about match.com. Help me out here...is match.com a hassle...did ya meet any "decent" people....a bunch of players and gold diggers? how high is the bullshit level?

Been "not in a relationship" since June and thought i'd give it a whirl....oh...im not a kid....pushing 60 a little harder than i'd like.....but getting a bit tired of my cooking....KWIM?

Would love to hear the pros and cons...

thanks...

Bufffalo

CON: You won't find me on match.com.

Con: You won't find me there because I found my now-EX had a profile there and I realized how easy it would be to lie & make a profile filled with falsehoods. If he can do it, so can others. I assume women lie as much as men do.

So many people meet online these days it seems hard to find a couple who didn't.

Match is not the only site out there, too. If you don't like that one, try another.

It's like anything else, you get out of it what you put into it. Just have tough skin because you may message a lot of women and they won't reply. Why?...I'm not sure. Especially if you're a decent guy that doesn't appear crazy, etc. But know I believe many women (sorry to offend the ladies on here but it's my experience) on there really aren't all that interested in dating unless George Clooney comes along. Or they are expecting him when y'all meet. It's either that or they really just don't have the time to date but are on there anyhow. Maybe just to look...who knows. Trust me when I say your success rate is probabably going to be less then 2%. In that I mean actually contacting 100 woman, enough reply, five agree to meet and you wind up actually dating two of them consistantly at any given time.

I did meet my gf on there 1.5 years ago and honestly it was probably the best first date I've ever had in my life....including exWW. We stayed out until 3:30am...and then again the next night and a few weekends after that. Can't remember the last time I was out that late so many weekends. We've had our ups and downs learning about one another. We've even taken a break for a few months at one point. Just have fun with an open attitude and stick with it.

I've never tried it-- but my best friend met his W on OKCupid last year. They swear by that site. They keep telling me that if I don't make a profile on it, they will.

A nurse is in a coma as of yesterday, in Melbourne, Australia, they think she met her attacker on RSVP.

Also in the paper was a picture of a guy who murdered his girlfriend. He looked like a really nice guy, friendly face!

I think OLD is much riskier for women.

I have tried it briefly, living in a small town it seems like everyone's crazy ex is on there. Even a couple of friends who met their match online have said they can see why these guys ended up divorced. The same issues are still there.

What about talking to people in real life and asking them out? That's what I'm looking for in a guy.

What about talking to people in real life and asking them out? That's what I'm looking for in a guy.

Me too.

ETA: Or, hell's bells, maybe I'll ask him out.

[This message edited by Nature_Girl at 8:15 PM, November 16th (Saturday)]

I have to do the real life thing too. I need to feel somewhat comfortable with someone before I will even go out with them, which is why I can't do OLD. Plus, my WS was (and probably still is) on as many sites as he could get on, lying thru his teeth about stuff, and he comes off as a wonderful person at first. I do know it has worked for some though, so I guess it is up to whether you want to deal with the drama and whackos you may have to wade thru before you find the decent needle in the haystack.

I tried both but I met my soon to be ex H on there and now that I know his bs lies, I dont think i will believe much of anything on there. I do browse at times just to see whos out there, all over the world but mostly creeps. ugly creeps w beers in hand :(

I have met some decent guys on Match, I think it is totally worth the trouble. You just have to take it (like everything) with a grain of salt. It doesn't happen instantly, and I think if you go in just looking to meet new people, it takes the pressure off.

I do receive a LOT of emails I am not interested in. For ME, I will look at a profile and respond if the email is pleasant, required a little thought into it, isn't creepy (one just emailed me that he prayed I would wait for him….), and in my age range.

Have some GOOD photos up, I want to see clear photos. Have something funny and interesting in your profile, things you like to do, etc. I want to be able to think, "Oh yeah…me too!".

I do think there are lots of people on there for the wrong reason, it is just a matter of wading through a little and not taking it too seriously.

In my experience, OLD was a "needle in a haystack" situation. I just happened to get REALLY lucky and find the needle.

I had my profile up on OKCupid for THREE YEARS before I found someone that I really liked (in other words, my current H, heh).

I do want to mention that it's helpful if you update it every so often. My profile was up for a long time, but I kept it updated every three months or so - new pictures, maybe some new information, etc. Each time I updated, I got new "hits" and the dance started all over again, heh.

That's really the secret, as cmego said - you cannot, cannot, CANNOT take OLD seriously. That's a certain way to have hurt feelings. When I used it, I would go out on a date, enjoy the movie or dinner or whatever, and that would be the end of it for me unless I felt a certain spark that I would want to pursue it further, or if they called me first (which sometimes happened). Otherwise... eh. It was a date. It was a night where I wasn't in bed reading or curled up with my kittehs.

Some guys I went out with... yeah, I would have RATHER been curled up with my kittehs!

I never tried Match or any pay sites (mainly because it didn't matter that much that I'd fork out money, heh), but OLD is worth a shot, surely. I know lots that have had luck with it, myself included. But... be sure you're ready. Thick skin is a must.

Good luck.

I have tried Match.com and I am done with it as I am with the other sites I tried. I simply must attract nut cases - I had everything from total stalker to poofers and scammers.

I prefer to meet people in person; not that easy because I don't approach people ever and I don't pursue if I like somebody (except for xSO and see where that got me).

Once you get some info on the guy. You can google and look up their Facebook and LinkedIn pages to make sure they are legit. So far all the basic facts (jobs, marital status, kids, etc ) have been except I had 2 guys fudge their age. They are older than their online profile. Good Luck!

I'm in a different country, but I have been on Match a couple of times and I ended up dating two off there (not at the same time lol) and they were 'normal' guys, and I have stayed friends with them both.

give it a shot - nothing to lose except a little time sifting through.

but maybe remember the SI motto - trust but verify. there IS quite a few odd (being polite) people out there

I tried it once. I do not have anything good to say about it. Took out 3 different women who turned out to be disasters in the making. One who I thought was pretty cool turned out to be M. I was S at the time and told her my tale of woe. She seemed sympathetic to my situation. On the third date she dropped the bomb on me saying she was M, but it was OK because she and her H had an open M. I remember dropping my fork at dinner, throwing some cash on the table to cover the bill and left. She even had the nerve to try and contact me many times after that. That ended my OLD experience. But I guess for some it might work. I know a few people who met their spouses OL. They seem happy, so I guess it can work for certain folks.

It can be worth the trouble. I met my husband on Match.

I met a few very nice men, no real weirdos. I had a good experience. You just never know unless you try.

Hell yes!!!!!

Have Just spent a truly lovely weekend with my SO of 10 months.... We met on match. As we often say about each other ....."best thing we've ever bought on the Internet"

I think my best advice is show the person you are. Write a detailed profile. When a guy takes time to write back in detail and mentions different things from your profile you know he has actually read it

I never had much luck. Plus I'm over 50 and won't lie on the age bracket so I'm out of the range of the main search on there (Age).

Once in a while I'd get a hit by a 20 year old who probably thought I was some cougar - no thanks... Most of the men my age appear to be looking for 20-30 somethings.

So no - it was not worth the trouble or time for me.

Thanks....never tried this "on line" dating thing......thought i'd give it a whirl. thanks again...

Bufffalo

Thumbs up! 100% positive for me. Though, I am chosing to give up on dating for the time being. Match has nothing to do with it - too busy IRL.

-t2g