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Newest Member: Devestatedbeyond (44583)

Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Thoughts of hurting/depression
Notdaniel
♂ New Member
Member # 41302
Default  Posted: 8:02 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The nights have been really bad for my BS. Last night was the worst by far in that she had me hide the razors because she became consummed with the anger and anxiety as well as depression that she thought cutting would help. I did hide but I am not sure what to do next to help her. She is angry and anxious that I will leave her. I can't reassure her enough. I will try to mention IC for her as well but i am scared. I so want her pain to be mine so that she can be free.

She spent today in bed but is up now talking to son. I am giving her space and just periodically looking in on her.


I was so selfish I pray for her.


WH-that's me (37)
Super amazing wife (39)

1 child


Posts: 32 | Registered: Nov 2013
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Would she be open to seeing a physician? They can prescribe her something for the anxiety/depression. And of course IC would be very helpful for her.

Is she a member here? If she's not, maybe show this place to her. It may help her to know that she's not alone, that there are other people that have walked the path she's on, and they can support her thru this mess.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6125 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
Notdaniel
♂ New Member
Member # 41302
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is she a member here? If she's not, maybe show this place to her. It may help her to know that she's not alone, that there are other people that have walked the path she's on, and they can support her thru this mess.

I did mention this site to her. She does have some people she confided in and she is already on medication for depression. I appreciate the response.

She is strong but I really hurt her.


WH-that's me (37)
Super amazing wife (39)

1 child


Posts: 32 | Registered: Nov 2013
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think IC would be a good suggestion. You might get some resistance from her, so tread gently and compassionately. I needed some gentle nudging from my wife to get some of the help that I needed.

Was she on medication prior to d-day? If so, she may need to see her doc and have her prescription adjusted/modified to accommodate for the new trauma/hurt that she is feeling.

Keeping you, your wife, and your kiddo in my thoughts. Best of luck, and keep watching out for her.

Take care.


Posts: 6552 | Registered: Dec 2010
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 9:43 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I so want her pain to be mine so that she can be free.

I understand where this is coming from , but self-flagellation is a road you don't want to go down either. The goal has to be for your family to work towards healthy and whole - together.

The fact that she is entertaining the thought of cutting means she may need clinical intervention. Why are you scared to help her find a therapist or doctor? Whatever your reason, if you can steel yourself to guide her towards getting help with this you will be guiding her down the most effective path to alleviating her pain.

Big hugs to all of you. Take small but positive steps every day.

[This message edited by Jrazz at 9:43 PM, November 16th (Saturday)]


You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to. - Robin Williams

Posts: 16804 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
harrypotter
♂ Member
Member # 39526
Default  Posted: 4:19 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Notdaniel,

Just some personal experience that goes with what Jrazz said above. You are going to feel bad and want to take away the pain but "self-flagellation" is only good to a point. I personally took it to a very bad place for a couple of weeks that had me thinking about how things might be better if I wasn't around. But that's actually even more selfish and a ton of other wrongs. So I got through it and no longer have these thoughts but I can tell you that being careful how much you beat yourself up " I know it's hard not to!" is good advice. Not saying you will go where I did but please be aware it can happen. Praying for you and your wife.


WS-Me
BS-Her (Lostinthismess)


Posts: 71 | Registered: Jun 2013
Notdaniel
♂ New Member
Member # 41302
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, November 18th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the words from everyone. Thank you for the prayers. Each day at a time...


WH-that's me (37)
Super amazing wife (39)

1 child


Posts: 32 | Registered: Nov 2013
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, November 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad you checked in, Nd. How are things today? Do you feel like you might be able to talk to her about the benefits of getting her to a therapist or doctor?


You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to. - Robin Williams

Posts: 16804 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Topic Posts: 8

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