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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: reconciling.....
seenow
♀ Member
Member # 40720
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. It's been six months and I am finally reading the reconciliation forum. Maybe that means I will try this? Dang, I always thought I would just leave if something like this happened. Now I am reading about how to heal a marriage. How to make this about us and not them. How to be strong for someone who was so weak. OY! A new path and I am crying. I wish this was not my journey.


ME: BS mid 40's
Him: WH mid 40's
DDay 5/13 5 year LTA, ONS
together 25 yrs
1 kiddo

Posts: 288 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: mountain west
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome to R, seenow. It is NOT for the weak, but it has been well worth it for many.

We all wish we hadn't been shoved down this path, but it's the one we're on now and we have to do our best. Which you are.


(((seenow)))


If you can't learn to enjoy your life when you have problems, you may never enjoy it because we'll always have problems. - Joyce Meyer

Posts: 17007 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
seenow
♀ Member
Member # 40720
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Jrazz. From the outside I always thought the strong just left. Never did I know.


ME: BS mid 40's
Him: WH mid 40's
DDay 5/13 5 year LTA, ONS
together 25 yrs
1 kiddo

Posts: 288 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: mountain west
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All the outcomes of betrayal - R, D, limbo - take a lot of strength.

I could say I chose R because for me it's 'easier' than D, but that's just another way of saying I looked at my options, still loved my W, saw that my W was committed to doing the necessary work to R, so I chose R.

Bottom line: You need - and already have, though you may not yet realize it - a lot of strength now. Choose the outcome that you want and think is possible.

[This message edited by sisoon at 12:41 PM, November 17th (Sunday)]


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 9986 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YAY for R!

Like any road after an A, it's hard. But it's an experience you can learn and grow from in ways you never imagined.

There will be tough times, tears, still some WTF moments, but at the end of the day there is also peace.

I hope you both find it, together.

(((hugs)))


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3793 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Topic Posts: 5

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