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Newest Member: DisappointedDude (43160)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Advice needed on separation agreement.
tara1110
♀ Member
Member # 41202
Default  Posted: 12:37 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know I should see a lawyer for legal advice about this but I need your suggestions on what I can ask for in the separation agreement.

Here's our case:

Married for 5 years with 1 kid (2 yrs) ; 2 dogs; property under my name is currently on short sale ( in FL), he is an active duty military so both mine and our son's insurance is under his; we are renting a house in our current state (VA) and lease will be ending in feb 2014; we are required to be separated for at least a yr before we can file for divorce ( in our state); no property owned together; both our financed cars are under my name; he will soon go back to deployment this January and to be with his b!tch again while me and my son and MY dogs are moving to a different state in February. Once our separation term is over then I file of divorce in the state of VA.

Any suggestions? Besides the basic child support, full custody, health insurance, alimony, etc?

Any input will be appreciated...


Me BS:34
H WS: 28
OW: 33 (butter face... Thanks to sistermilkshake for the nickname)
Dday: July 24, 2013 (5 days after our 5th wedding anniversary)
7yrs together, married for 5 yrs
Status: divorcing

Posts: 84 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: North Carolina
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:36 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

~Think about how to split any debt.
~Think long term about your future on health insurance, school (for you…?), what financial support you may need for your child. i.e….school supplies, clothing, hair cuts, birthday parties, sports fees, medical copays.
~Do you qualify for his retirement?
~ Be very specific in your custody arrangement, you can see on the SI boards about people who live states apart, and the problems that arise.
~If he is agreeing to everything, you can mediate the D (and hire an attorney to simply review your separation agreement/divorce decree) then file pro se to save money. I'm also in VA, and that is what we did, we did the separation agreement with a mediator, then I have an attorney to review the paperwork. I will have her file for me, I'm not willing to file pro se because I don't want any errors accidentally made that might come back and bite me. BUT, we had many more "issues" with custody/finances/future problems.
~Remember to think long term, I really think that is the most important. Look at your budget and future budget to make sure you can survive on what you are agreeing too.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 40, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, separated 3 years, together 17
Alis volat propriis "She flies with her own wings"
separated 1/2011

Posts: 3584 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

During the separation think about what you will need-- financially speaking. Is he going to be paying half of housing costs for you and your son? Do you work or are you a SAHM?

Is he going to keep paying for the cars too?

Write up your monthly budget-- everything from rent to utilities, down to new socks and toilet paper. (Dog food!). Submit your budget asking for the percentage your need-- in my case he was expected to keep paying a portion of all house bills, groceries, utilities, etc because I was working part time.

Separation is supposed to be short term, but think long term.


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3230 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: ATX
Topic Posts: 3

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