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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: just wondering on a scale of 0-10
♂ Member
Member # 38103
Default  Posted: 12:47 PM, November 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I noticed (just like me) all the answers are zero.

I wonder: if it's because the question was posted in Reconciliation? If it was posted in "D/S" would the answer be the same. Also most here on SI are trying to work it out, so again wonder if the answer might be different on other forum?

Me: BH, 44
Her: WW, 43
D day. January 12, 2013

Posts: 675 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Socal
♀ Member
Member # 40852
Default  Posted: 1:27 PM, November 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just answered the other question so I suppose I should answer this.

If I answer honestly, I'd say that when we married I'd have put his chances of cheating at a 2 or 3, if I'm being honest with myself. He had been engaged before me, their relationship was a rollercoaster that involved cheating on each of their parts, multiple times. He was pretty much a man whore when we first started dating, but stopped when he decided he was interested in a relationship with me.

It had always been a fear in the back of my mind because he was flirtatious and preferred female friends.

But the weekend he cheated on me, if you'd have asked me if I thought he would ever cheat, my answer would have been a zero.

Me: BS
Him: WH ONS/short EA
Married 11 years
Together 15 years
2 children

Posts: 64 | Registered: Oct 2013
♀ Member
Member # 38375
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, November 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Absolute zero - for the full 18 years prior to d-day. And even after d-day, I was so shocked my main concern was him being so remorseful he'd be suicidal. Instead he took the A underground. What do I know?

D-day #1 - 1/23/13
false R, then...
D-day #2 - 3/26/13
I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons. - Hippocratic Oath

Posts: 342 | Registered: Feb 2013
♂ Member
Member # 25949
Default  Posted: 10:43 PM, November 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

mine was a zero. My wife and I both come from broken homes. Also this was my wife's second marriage thus the zero.

My wife's parents divorced because her dad cheated. I guess she's a 'chip off the old block'

Me - BS
Her - WS
affair length - 6 months with MM
married since 7/92
d-day 4/2002
NC violated 4/02, 6/02, 8/02

Posts: 136 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Massachusetts
♀ Member
Member # 37146
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, November 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Guess I would have been zero after 41 years of marriage....shame on me, the affair had been for the last 5 years.

Now after reading and better understanding changing in relationships with co-workers...I would say 5 as he did lots of activities and worked with women. He was always a good listener which many women liked....I never thought too much about it except who the AP was and never trusted her.

Posts: 102 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Somewhere in USA
Member # 40249
Default  Posted: 12:14 AM, November 20th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I truly thought there was zero chance. I don't think anything could possibly have blown up my conception of reality more than this.

Posts: 80 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: United States
♀ Member
Member # 34465
Default  Posted: 12:33 AM, November 20th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


He was a dedicated father of two. An upstanding guy. We'd been married for 20+ years and I thought he abhorred disloyalty as much as I did. Obviously not.

I also thought at 47, balding and 'unfit' that the risk of straying had passed. Didn't factor in that those things don't matter when you're paying for it.

You are responsible for your own happiness :)

Posts: 316 | Registered: Jan 2012
Topic Posts: 47
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