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User Topic: Gone farther underground
TrulySad
♀ Member
Member # 39652
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, November 18th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You absolutely have choices. The question is do you want to stay with this lying cheating ass?

As the others have said, see a lawyer. File for divorce. Let your lawyer do the work. Have this woman's name in case it's needed. As someone here already stated though...family court doesn't care if a parent is a cheater. Keep any documention he sends you, and you should ONLY send communication regarding the children and finances.

I know you're worried about custody. It sounds like he's the type of man who would fight for the kids, just to hurt you. So let the courts handle this. Don't let him see that it's getting to you. If he wants to see the kids, ABSOLUTELY. Mention how you have plans, and he needs to be on time. Call him (if you're separated) and tell him you need HIM to take the kids because you have things to do. Turn this around on him.

He probably wants his life free to be the fun single guy...wake his ass up to what it will be like to be a single father with responsibilities that take him away from the OW at work. He will find out soon enough, it's not all fun and games.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Hang in there and realize you have far more control than you think...


Me: Done with his bullshit and getting stronger day by day

Posts: 423 | Registered: Jun 2013
Sleepy312
♀ Member
Member # 38360
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, November 18th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know you guys are right. SOme of your responses have opened my eyes a bit more. I haven't seen a lawyer. I had one picked out before I moved to consult. I've been here about 6 weeks. I have a couple of names from an anonymous message board(awesome, yea, cause I have so many friends here )

I guess I should consult an attorney at least to address some of my fears. Whoever above mentioned the box with all the texts, etc as proof to you is exactly what I'm doing, but I'm not a slave to snooping now that he is suspicious I was snooping(because of a particular question), so it seems he is checking the IP address of where his gmail has been logged in from, and he's in the city and I'm not, so it's quite clear if he's actually checking the location.

Since I'm not checking it and seeing it like I was I am not as angry and obsessed so I let things slide, and here I sit spinning my wheels. I'm in a shit soup of my own making, and I have only allowed it to get worse by fucking moving here. ugh.


Me 41
Dh 40
Married 11...he forgot our anniversary among other things. Every birthday, holdiay, whatever is forever ruined.

Together 17 years
Two great kids.

He doesn't get it. Moving us to his hometown with his toxic mother is going to


Posts: 507 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Nj
Truly
♀ Member
Member # 40715
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, November 18th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're feeling trapped.

I wish you didn't. I'm so sorry.

You're not actually trapped it just feels like that. Your WH is doing and saying everything in his power to make you feel that way as he would like to spend the rest of his life eating cake.

The good news about having only just moved you can move back relatively seamlessly. Yes, it costs, everything does. But all these things are doable.
If you still desperately need evidence go out of town, back to last place of residence, for a weekend and hire a PI. Evidence will be given to you while you're out of town making it necessary for you to stay there.

(((((((hugs))))))


There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.
Charles Dickens


Posts: 257 | Registered: Sep 2013
Topic Posts: 23
Pages: 1 · 2

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