Well goodmorning all, time to start the day. I've cancelled my appointments for the day, kinda useless to even try today. Going for coffee with a girlfriend , she talks lot so I won't have too. Thanks for listening this morning.
Look Joan, this shit is crazy hard... changing the way we have been for years and years. Old coping got you here. But know that what you are becoming is so much better. You have to rememeber that.
Nobody likes to feel vulnerable. But to truly experience all there is to life, we have to let ourselves be just that.
To be open and vulnerable hurts, and I know if he leaves I will be even more broken, I can feel it happening.
No you won't be. You were broken before. You are getting better. Keep pushing forward, no matter how hard the wind is blowing.
In a sense, my feelings have become a prize that I will never relinquish, it cost too much to win them.
I can relate to your post so much!
Not having any relationships be truly authentic to "protect" myself from hurt.
softcentre is right feelings are a prize! A wonderful prize. I'm slowly opening up and allowing myself to be vulnerable. It IS a slow process, I can't just shut off 30 years of hiding my feelings, esp when I hid them from myself.
Keep going, don't shut off.
"Your secrets keep you sick"
How hard it is to not do it still.
Very hard for me to wrap my head around. I have always been ruled by my feelings and didn't listen to my head.
It seems like a similar struggle, to some how integrate the two.
Thank you for your post, it helped me to understand a bit more.
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
attempted R, it was all a lie