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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Is this crazy?
confetticheck
♂ New Member
Member # 38676
Default  Posted: 12:11 AM, November 20th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1 year out,
Just a bit freaked, what the frk happened. Every thing is going great!? Its a bit scary.

Well, I should say the old me died 1 year ago (THANK GOD!). Well, I should say a tremendous amount of pain along the way, but she seems to be healing. She says she's proud of me! ( I'm crying)

All I've read here, can I be fixed? Am I OK? Is there a normal? I,m so frkn close to her now, it makes me feel so good, how could I have given up those years! The world changed, so many insights into me, have others done it?

I can't tell you how much I hate and love SI. This is definitely the varsity squad. She's on every day and some times it makes us scream and cry, but it seems to make us closer!

Its Anti-versary, have others done tbis and made it!/


Me - WH
Her - BW
Married 20 yrs, 3 kids
DDay - 17 Nov '12 (5 month PA)

Life's tough, it's tougher when your stupid.


Posts: 37 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: FL
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 2:47 AM, November 20th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The antiversary as well as the A season is one of the hardest time periods to go through.

There are a lot of successfully reconciled couples here. The common denominators for all of them are compassion, communication, transparency, and hard work.

You can do this, together.

(((cc & BW)))


The best way to cheer yourself up is to try and cheer someone else up. - Mark Twain

Posts: 17570 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, November 20th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok. Trying this again. *sigh*

Every thing is going great!? Its a bit scary.
I understand this. Had the same feeling. But please prepare yourself. For QS and I, year two was pretty brutal. We had some really tough conversations and situations in year two. The awesome thing was, we'd worked so hard at communication in year one, that even if the subject matter was awkward, we had gotten into the habit of talking. So we were able to push our way thru. Yes, I stomped my foot (in my mind) sometimes cause I didn't wanna have to talk, but inevitably, we talked. And those conversations ended up being very healing.

I,m so frkn close to her now, it makes me feel so good, how could I have given up those years!
I remember that. Coming out of my stupidity, waking up, and realizing...THIS is how marriage is supposed to be!? How did I not know this???

Its Anti-versary, have others done tbis and made it!
Pshhh well yeah! Look at DS and MH. WH5 and BR. AN and Lecden. Living proof. Many other couples are success stories. Just takes time. And a crapton of hard work.

[This message edited by Aubrie at 8:54 AM, November 20th (Wednesday)]


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6259 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
thecaves
♂ Member
Member # 38062
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, November 20th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Aubrie and Jrazz for your comments on this thread.

I echo confetticheck concerns about it being scary... with 1yr approaching soon. I am kind of terrified that all hell is going to break loose and we won't be able to recover.

You say other have done this and made it.. here is hoping that confetticheck, I, and others can do the same.


Me: WH
Her: BW
Kids: Yes
Married: 20+
D-Day: 12/2012

What defines us is how well we rise after falling.


Posts: 173 | Registered: Jan 2013
confetticheck
♂ New Member
Member # 38676
Default  Posted: 10:56 PM, November 20th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks guys,
I was very worried about this month, I knew we had done so much hard work. I can't believe we could even function at our jobs those first couple months. Aubrie hit it on the head (my biggest problem) communication is saving us. That and these strange new things called EMOTIONS! LOL

For the record, I needed all the work, she was a great wife to a jackass. Now I work on healing her.

Caves keep up the hard work, strap in and do the right thing by her. Keep hitn the boards for support.

Good luck to you!


Me - WH
Her - BW
Married 20 yrs, 3 kids
DDay - 17 Nov '12 (5 month PA)

Life's tough, it's tougher when your stupid.


Posts: 37 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: FL
finallyfree2011
♀ Member
Member # 37998
Default  Posted: 12:53 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congrats on making it a year.

I too feel like the old me died when I ended my 4 year long A. Sometimes I look back and I can't believe the person I was during that time. The things I missed out with my kids are the hardest to handle. All I can do is be the best mom I can now.


Me - WS
H - BH

D day - July 2011 after a 4 year relationship with OM

Reconciled and renewed our vows on our 22 Anniversary in June 2012


Posts: 64 | Registered: Jan 2013
Taurus517
♂ Member
Member # 37958
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just passed our 1 year and this is still been a rough season for my W. I can see a difference in myself from 4 years ago. I think back on things I said and done and just want to slap some sense into myself.

I remember that. Coming out of my stupidity, waking up, and realizing...THIS is how marriage is supposed to be!? How did I not know this???

I,m so frkn close to her now, it makes me feel so good, how could I have given up those years!

The waking up and realizing what a real relationship suppose to be is like wow, what the hell have I been doing and that my previous relationship was crap. I really wish I can go back in time and fix this because realizing what I did, I hate it and looking back......like for real what the hell is wrong with me !!

I can't tell you how much I hate and love SI. This is definitely the varsity squad. She's on every day and some times it makes us scream and cry, but it seems to make us closer!

Oh I understand, I posted about that few weeks ago. SI goes both ways but has definitely helped in understanding and seeing how everyone approaches situations. I had my fair share of trash talking about it but in the end it does help.

In time I believe it will get better, you just have to realize the emotions and thought will be there for awhile, but stick together and hold on to her, you will get pass this.


Me: WS 31
A : 17 months
Her : BS/WS 26 (ShockedErica11)
A: 3 months
DD : 3
Relationship : 4
Married : 2
DDay : November 2012
Her DDay : June 2013

Posts: 71 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Chamblee
BaxtersBFF
♂ Member
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, November 23rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You guys can all make it. Things may very well blow up along the way, but you can still make it.

The scary part seems to be letting go of the control, or letting go of the outcome. Those two things, control and outcome, are something so many of us work to define in our lives, when really it is something that we have to learn to deal with whichever way a situation goes.


WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6099 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
Topic Posts: 8

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