Won't undo anything though, will it?
I don't want this crushing reality
"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."
There are better times ahead. I always believe this. If your WS is committed to openness and truly sorry and your bond is not too badly damaged, there is hope for a rebirth to your marriage.
I believe mine is so I hope for better days, months and years of marriage.
I was not the most attentive spouse before my wife's OEA, not excusing her, she knows what she did was horrendous, but this also woke me up to being a better husband.
Better days are ahead. Believe.
No - nothing can be undone. That is the sad fact. I struggle with acceptance daily, and am nowhere near there, totally. But, I see glimpses of it. Some days I have whole hours where I think I see what acceptance looks like.
So, although we can't undo what has been done, can we have better lives, and better marriages after this? Yes. Absolutely. Lots of people here that are much further along will tell you that. Does it hurt like a m-f? (Sorry.) Yes. It does.
Hang in there. The clouds will pass.
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months, EA/then PA
In MC & Reconciling
I edit, therefore I am.
Knowing the details doesn't always make you feel satisfied. In my case, it just made me want to burn a perfectly good couch!
I have read 17-20 infidelity books, $3-4k on counseling and a weekend retreat, lots of SI activity, talking with my pastor plus a real life friend.....so I reall understand your post.
If it helps....feeling more sad than usual too today.
You are on a specific prayer list I keep. I have faith this is helping. Part of the actual prayer is for courage. This journey is not for the faint of heart. You are strong...but this journey is too tough to be a solo trek. God understands the struggle that is adultery. Even on lesser burdens we are called to support one another.
We have your back....post often, especially when doubt and fear start to take hold.
Peace to us all.
[This message edited by blakesteele at 6:52 PM, November 21st (Thursday)]
Hang in there kid!
It is obsessive. I started with affair & marriage books and research, now I am onto meditation, happiness, and balance.
I'm 5 months from DDAY and I noticed that the A thoughts cease, but my mind isn't 100% focused on it, maybe only 99%. I will take that as a win for me.
Send you strength and hugs!
[This message edited by ILINIA at 7:05 PM, November 21st (Thursday)]
I am in a particularly difficult week after starting IC. Everything is back...