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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Four years ago today...
traditoperanni
♀ Member
Member # 32660
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

is when I innocently opened Pandora's box (my fwh's email) and my world came crashing down. Four years ago today is when I sat at the computer dumbfounded and unable to breathe and blinking my eyes thinking I must have read this wrong. Four years ago today when the pain began and hasn't ended. Four years ago today where
I found out my wh wasn't who I thought he was after all these years!
Four years ago today my life changed in a flash. Trying to go through the holidays without screaming was a real challenge.
It's a difficult trigger day. Even though things are better, we are in MC and wh is in counseling and(SA program) he is trying very hard, but it took almost 2 years to get the whole truth.
So, anyway, just feeling down and a little sorry for myself.


Me- BS (63)
Him-WS (63)
M- 42 yrs
dday#1 11/09, Dday #2 10/11 and many since
P.A.'s - too many to count
LTA's too many to count (one for 37 yrs)
escorts etc- way too many to count.
Broken heart- too many times to count.
R- Getting bet

Posts: 427 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
jjsr
♀ Member
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think you should be down on yourself. Look how far both of you have come in the last 4 years and the work you both have done. I know the day isn't easy but be proud of yourself and your FWH


Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA
Trying to reconcile

Posts: 1587 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Texas
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hugs))) It's OK to feel down at times but if things are otherwise going well, try to remember those good things also to balance out. Lord knows, we all get tired of carrying the burden! I'm glad that you came here for some support.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4551 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
looking forward
♀ Member
Member # 25238
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's why it's called the roller coaster.
Sorry you are feeling down; focus on the positive.
BTW....it took 22 years for my H to learn the truth


Memory and hope; one looks backward, and the other forward; one is of today, the other of tomorrow.
"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." (Joseph Campbell)

Posts: 2833 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: Where a river runs through it
Alex CR
♀ Member
Member # 27968
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Four years ago and you've come so far....learned so much about yourself........learned how strong you are........

We can't change the past and we can't predict the future but we sure can make today count .....and that's exactly what you're doing.

Be good to yourself this week.....maybe splurge doing something you've wanted...you deserve it...


BS Me 61
WS Him 62
Married 33
Together 40
DD 11/16/09
The future looks good....

Posts: 1634 | Registered: Mar 2010
traditoperanni
♀ Member
Member # 32660
Default  Posted: 12:51 AM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone for the positive thoughts. I'm feeling better now than I did earlier in the day. My fwh and I had a MC session today also. I did express my feelings about today. Our MC asked where did I think four yrs ago where we'd be now? I said "Divorced" . So, I guess things are better. I just wish I could give him what he wants
and that's my trust. But, that is not possible yet. He'll have to earn tthat. A lot has happened in the last four years and I am still very guarded.


Me- BS (63)
Him-WS (63)
M- 42 yrs
dday#1 11/09, Dday #2 10/11 and many since
P.A.'s - too many to count
LTA's too many to count (one for 37 yrs)
escorts etc- way too many to count.
Broken heart- too many times to count.
R- Getting bet

Posts: 427 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
Topic Posts: 6

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