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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I hate triggers
bobf
♂ Member
Member # 41412
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have so many because I read so much of my wife's texting but one of the worst happened a week ago.

In one of my wife's sex chat extravaganzas she made a comment to her partner that she wished she was ambidextrous as it is difficult to type and you know...

She said the same thing to me while we were making love...

My blood pressure about killed me.

[This message edited by bobf at 4:49 PM, November 21st (Thursday)]


Me: BH early 50s
Her: fWW late 40s (kmom2662)
7 Wk OEA, Skype, Cyber
DDay 10-4-13
Married 20+ years
Currently in R

Posts: 142 | Registered: Nov 2013
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 4:36 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

my husband once described me as "vanilla" in one of his "hook up" profiles. I still can't eat vanilla ice cream. Right now, him going to class is a trigger... because he was supposed to be in class when he was with the hooker. There's a movie that Netflix keeps recommending called "whore's glory"... and it keeps triggering me. short women with bleached hair and tattoos trigger me, because that's what the hooker looks like. He told her that he wanted her to wear glasses, so putting on my glasses in the morning is a trigger... my blood pressure was 235/153 yesterday when we went to get treated for the STD he brought home... my Dr. almost admitted me. (my bp runs high, because I am a carrier of muscular dystrophy... my meds ran out, but I forgot to refill them...)


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Sammy2013
♀ Member
Member # 41040
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Triggers are the worst. I'm hoping they lessen as time goes in. Whenever I see a minivan, I trigger (he wanted her to pack up her van and take her away). Driving by the apartments in front if our neighborhood is a trigger (he was going to move her in there). Shit, Duck Dynasty is a trigger because he watched it in her hotel room with her when they first reconnected. That damn show is everywhere.

Triggers all over the place for me right now.


WH -37; BS (me) 38
Married 12 years, 3 kiddos
First DDay 9/13. 3 more since then (trickle truth sucks). 6 years of Prostitutes, 2 affairs in 2013, SA diagnosis now with 1 relapse so far (massage parlor with happy ending 2/14).
Waiting, observing,

Posts: 209 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Southeast United States
Bikingguy
♂ Member
Member # 38103
Default  Posted: 4:51 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There was a long thread about "office spouses". And yuup that is what WW and OM called each other.

We were at a banquet for my son's team and the two coaches are male and female. They joke around a lot and at one point he made a comment about her being his work wife WW kind of laughed a little, but I think she knew it was a HUGE issue with me. I just froze and tried to keep my dinner done


Me: BH, 44
Her: WW, 43
D day. January 12, 2013

Posts: 672 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Socal
bobf
♂ Member
Member # 41412
Default  Posted: 4:56 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In one of the chats I read my wife was chatting with lets call him "Sex Mentor" about the action she got the day before. She told him she got off 4x and #4 was with me in the car on the way home from dinner. Sex Mentor commented that the hubby should be happy a little trickled down to him from Mrs. Horny.

Cars--trigger, I hear the word trickle--trigger and I hate the word horny--trigger. Sex Mentor is Australian. I have a new country I hate too.

[This message edited by bobf at 4:58 PM, November 21st (Thursday)]


Me: BH early 50s
Her: fWW late 40s (kmom2662)
7 Wk OEA, Skype, Cyber
DDay 10-4-13
Married 20+ years
Currently in R

Posts: 142 | Registered: Nov 2013
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Sad  Posted: 5:30 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

my birthday is gonna be a trigger. he had sex with the prostitute exactly a month before it. it's in two weeks.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
bobf
♂ Member
Member # 41412
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MILF--it's what one of my wife's online lover's called her. Wy wife and I were watching season one episode two of Breaking Bad. Mr. White's wife goes online to a website to "track" her husband and ends up at a sex site instead and it was for MILFs in big letters right across the screen. Had to stop the video and talk. I hate this.


Me: BH early 50s
Her: fWW late 40s (kmom2662)
7 Wk OEA, Skype, Cyber
DDay 10-4-13
Married 20+ years
Currently in R

Posts: 142 | Registered: Nov 2013
painandgrief
♀ Member
Member # 40158
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The OW's last name is the equivalent of Smith in Asian cultures. Just today, I not only saw that last name 8 times at work, I even saw her first name. Not helping that WS is traveling in Asia for work right now.

I hate how unfair all of this is.


BS 50
WS 49
2 teenage kids
DDay - May 2013

"Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer care"


Posts: 54 | Registered: Aug 2013
nuance
♂ Member
Member # 28793
Default  Posted: 11:05 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Italy is the country I hate.


Dday May 2000. R'ed.
People suck.

Posts: 1209 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: California
bobf
♂ Member
Member # 41412
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, December 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My wife was asking about what a circumcised penis looks like this morning after some HB. TRIGGER--she chatted about that with Sex Mentor who wasn't circumcised...

It got me thinking about safe places I can go when that happens. When I was a child, I had built this really cool tree house in a huge old oak tree way in the back of our 40 acres. The tree was surrounded by a half-acre of thorn trees. I hacked two winding paths through the thorns in order to get to build the tree house and to provide a path to escape from it if someone came in one way.I used to go there and hide when I thought my father was going to beat me. I'd have a safe place and and escape route.

Now I try and picture that place when I get upset.


Me: BH early 50s
Her: fWW late 40s (kmom2662)
7 Wk OEA, Skype, Cyber
DDay 10-4-13
Married 20+ years
Currently in R

Posts: 142 | Registered: Nov 2013
Topic Posts: 10

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