It's been close to 5 years since my Dday and XSO is long gone...
...but I woke up this morning thinking, once again, about how HIS decision to have "breakup sex" with his whore WITHOUT BIRTH CONTROL spun my life around and put it on a track I never expected and never wanted.
All my dreams, built up over years and years, evaporated in that one moment. My entire belief system--shattered. My certainty in true love and a connection beyond explanation--shown for what it was: a childish fantasy.
He'd say that his life was just as changed when I left him, that he didn't escape unscathed, that he was just as ruined by his selfish, idiotic act as I--but the truth is, he got what he always wanted: a child of his own.
And the worst part is, I had nothing to do with this at all. He would fully admit that he was extremely happy in our relationship; that he loved our goals as much as I did. HIS self-centered, shameful behavior ruined only one life--and it wasn't his.