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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 16
SI Staff
Moderator
Member # 10
Default  Posted: 2:54 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 2:55 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome to the Menz Thread!

Because somebody out there requested Timberlake...here ya Go! (bitches)

I know that Tred prohibits re-giffing....but in honor of thanksgiving....here it is!



Not too many rules here:

1. Be Menz.
2. Try to watch generalizations. We is all specialz and uniquez.
3. be nice to the mods.
4. be nice to the mods.

[This message edited by SuperDuperWonderboy at 4:11 PM, November 22nd (Friday)]


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nice. Reserved was a bit gentler, but we are Menz! Looks like the mods were on top of things this time, no flights from General to F&G!

Thanks Mods!


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3301 | Registered: Dec 2011
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The new clock.

Its 10:11 you know where your wife is?


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 425 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
Sproket
♂ Member
Member # 41262
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wow new thread,


M.C. tonight....


ME:BS 40
W: WW 40
M: Oct 2009
D.D Nov 2, 2013

Posts: 68 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: VA
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, after a week I can officially say that the shitty hotel room by myself is less depressing than the big empty house by myself. I had the week off work. I haven't done much. Everything is separated. House is hers. She owes me 2500 bucks. I think I'll get it. If I don't there'll be he'll to pay.


D Day: 6/13/13
Moving on. Every Single Day.

Posts: 482 | Registered: Jul 2013
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gentlemen,

A thought occurred to me. I wonder if I'm fooling myself. We are going to stay married ( at my request ) in order to keep me on her health insurance. It's really good and inexpensive. Financially we are completely separated. I go weeks without contact and when we talk it's about business. I have no reason to see her and likely won't before I leave the state. I really don't have a reason to delay the divorce process. I don't care about it. It'll be simple, really. We both agree it's done. I'm only asking to stay legally married for the insurance. It's practical and the smart thing to do.
Thoughts?


D Day: 6/13/13
Moving on. Every Single Day.

Posts: 482 | Registered: Jul 2013
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 4:35 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Had our first anniversary since dday a little while back. I was really nervous on how I would react to things that day. Prepared to have a mental breakdown. Went in having the view that she basically decided that our vows were null and void. She still wanted to celebrate and I told her no. First time we haven't went out of town for a few days just the two of us. I survived, but have been struggling with the fact that the only reason I got through it was because I treated it just like another day. Spent time with the kids, watched some football, cleaned some house, drank a beer, went to bed. Not having it be a special day with meaning anymore is depressing.
Anybody else feel disconnected (either on purpose or not) on days like that?


Think I knocked that shit out of the park with my present though. She wants fairies, rainbows, and unicorns; well that's what she's going to get....


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 425 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sunsets,

I don't about that man. I think I'd bite the bullet and sever all ties. I wouldn't want any legal connection to a woman that wasn't my wife in fact, and not just name. I know insurance isn't cheap, but what might it cost you long term to keep that connection to her?


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3301 | Registered: Dec 2011
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sunsets,
Kinda agree with Tred on this one. Start the healing process without being connected to her.

DF: Totally get the anniversary thing. My wife tried that same shit, trying to make it special again. Sorry honey, it's a painful reminder of the day you promised not to screw other guys..a promise you fucking broke. So no, I don't want to celebrate your fucking broken vows. (wow...bitter much?).


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sunset
is the insurance really the only reason? financial matters are a huge part of the whole stay or go evaluation, I understand, its a huge consideration for me. But insurance alone wouldn't be enough me; unless your expecting some big medical bills I mean. If you decided to move on, I say move on. As long as there is that tying you to together, you will always have a reason (or excuse depending on how you look at it) to get a hold of each other. That's why I ask if the insurance is the only reason, or if you really think about it, you want to leave the door closed but not locked on the possibility of things eventually working out for the two of you?
If I 'm out of line tell me. Sometimes though its hard to be totally honest with ourselves with this shit. I have to call bullshit on myself everyday it seems like.


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 425 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 4:47 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sunsets.

I think your setting yourself up of legal trouble down the line.

Suppose you hit it rich. Start a business. Whatever. Your WW could hire a lawyer and D you and take half+ of everything you have.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3074 | Registered: Sep 2007
MC_Jack
♂ Member
Member # 35016
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sunsets, is a legal separation not available in you state?


I am not a marriage counselor. I chose "MC Jack" in the spirit of a handle like "MC Hammer" or Young MC"...there is a lot of 'rapping' here, no? At the time I did not know what MC stood for on this site. Duh.

Posts: 791 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: West Coast of Hopa-hopa-land
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tred and Wonderboy: that's the way I'm leaning but the insurance is 20 bucks a week. I don't have any medical issues ( though if I spend too much more time chain smoking in this shitty hotel room I will )

DR: you aren't out of line. You nailed it. That's what I've been trying to figure out these last two days. I'm trying to see if I have any emotional connection left and the answer is no. She disgusts me. It's just the practicality of 19 dollars a week for good health insurance. Everything else is separated. I'm saving as much as I can for my move and this is several hundred bucks a month.

Razor: the only legal trouble I fear is if she does something stupid, which is likely. My sister is an attorney and she says I could make a case for physical separation, if not legal.

The bottom line in my case is that she has enough remorse or something that she's letting me call the shots. And I have the A-bomb if I deem it necessary to deploy. Her parents, most of her family and her faith based company has no idea what the case really is. I have no interest in outing her but I will if she gets smart ass or makes it difficult.


D Day: 6/13/13
Moving on. Every Single Day.

Posts: 482 | Registered: Jul 2013
joeboo
♂ Member
Member # 31089
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The bottom line in my case is that she has enough remorse or something that she's letting me call the shots. And I have the A-bomb if I deem it necessary to deploy. Her parents, most of her family and her faith based company has no idea what the case really is. I have no interest in outing her but I will if she gets smart ass or makes it difficult.

Maybe to build on D'R's comments...., it seems like you have an emotional connection to the "right of revenge". Be careful so it doesn't destroy you as it might keep you from healing yourself. I would also agree with the general consensus that you might think about letting go completely. Is discounted insurance really worth the connection?

I hope you find the peace you are searching.


Posts: 1208 | Registered: Feb 2011
joeboo
♂ Member
Member # 31089
Default  Posted: 6:20 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Does guy talk ever make you trigger?

Every now and again I come across a few guys at work that like to talk about cougars and how hot some other woman is, etc... The thing is that they are all married to seemingly nice women. The thing is, I have no use for the talk even if it is in jest.

It never used to bother me much, in fact sometimes I thought it was funny. Now when I hear it I trigger bad. I feel like I am loosing my connection to being a guy.

Comments?


Posts: 1208 | Registered: Feb 2011
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 6:26 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I respectfully disagree. My sense of justice, which is a very core value to me, is screaming for ruination. It's something I've been working on in IC.

I know the end game is indifference. I'm getting there. I don't care what her parents or co workers think. I'll never see them again in my life.

I'm attached to her still. That will take time. I have to examine each aspect of my remaining connection. That's why the insurance thing has been bothering me.


D Day: 6/13/13
Moving on. Every Single Day.

Posts: 482 | Registered: Jul 2013
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 6:34 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

joeboo, I'm the same way. I went out with some work friends last weekend. My friend kept pointing out girls to me. "I like that one", etc. He has been married less than two months. IMHO their marriage is doomed but for different reasons.
The dude talk always makes me uncomfortable. I'm not that guy. Even in jest


D Day: 6/13/13
Moving on. Every Single Day.

Posts: 482 | Registered: Jul 2013
Twitchy
♂ Member
Member # 25393
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let's have a little fun on a Friday night.

Heard a great insult today. Actually it was used on me in jest and I just want to share. But let's turn it around and do some nice and health POSOM Bashing.

What would you like to or did you call the POSOM?
Or do you just have a nice one liner too share.

I'll start:

He has the IQ of a soil sample.


BH(me)-47, FWW-41,
D-Day #1 - Oct 2007 - On-Line EA leading to a failed rendez-vous
D-Day #2 - Nov 2008 - In person EA caught early.

Dies irae. Dies illa solvet saeclum in favilla.


Posts: 575 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Ontario - Canada
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Quick comment to Joe before I head out to Basketball practice.


I feel like I am loosing my connection to being a guy.

I think you need to change your definition of what a "guy" is. I trigger now when I hear that shit, but I never participated in that kind of dialog before either.

Do I like to drink, fight, cuss, and fight. Hell yeah, I'm a guy's guy when it comes to that shit. But fuck, I got a mama and two daughters. I wouldn't want some fuck talking about them like that, so I didn't do it myself.

I am gonna go play some mother fucking basketball.
With the guys.

Yup, I think I'm still a guy, even if I do get the shakes when I trigger.

[This message edited by SuperDuperWonderboy at 8:40 PM, November 22nd (Friday)]


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
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