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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 16
HeartbrokenDude
♂ Member
Member # 41110
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There really does seem to be a common (and sad) script to all this, doesn't there? WW with:

Unmet emotional needs, which they assume we know about but are never discussed

Lousy communication skills regarding anything of deep meaning or likely to provoke conflict

Low self-esteem and a need for external validation.

Ticking time bombs.

[This message edited by HeartbrokenDude at 2:23 PM, December 10th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 66 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United States
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fucking snakes

And snake men on fucking ice.


Edit. I know we aren't supposed to drag threads in here. But, fuck, sometimes I would like to meet people alone in a dark alley.

[This message edited by SuperDuperWonderboy at 2:25 PM, December 10th (Tuesday)]


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
Later
♂ Member
Member # 39375
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On a similar note, my wife never asked me to explain her "evidence" that I had been cheating on her for years because "she didn't want to know."

Of course, since I wasn't cheating that evidence was all pretty flimsy to say the least.

Posts: 384 | Registered: May 2013
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SDW thats the spirit..


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10)

Posts: 1797 | Registered: Nov 2010
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sometimes I would like to meet people alone in a dark alley

ill bring the bats and some scotch. Whats got you all worked up?


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10)

Posts: 1797 | Registered: Nov 2010
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ticking time bombs.

Amen! Now someone tell me do I cut the red wire or the blue wire?


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 427 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whats got you all worked up?

Pm coming. Don't want to cause troubles


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 3:19 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Christian Grey is the kind of guy who needs to run into a BM in a dark alley somewhere. If he were real, of course.


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1035 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Christian Grey is the kind of guy who needs to run into a BM in a dark alley somewhere.

Is it not okay to say that I wished some of the BS womenz here at SI would run into the author in a dark alley?

Found a copy of that garbage in my wife's car. I proceeded to toss it in the trash can with her watching. She didn't say anything. I think she borrowed it from a friend. Wonder how that conversation went. I can't return your book because......

[This message edited by DefiledRage at 3:29 PM, December 10th (Tuesday)]


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 427 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 3:38 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WW likes to talk, but not about deep or meaningful stuff, which she tends to avoid like the plague.

Shows on the tele WW looks at are either about clothing (bridezillas. yes to the dress. fashion police. sex in the city) or cartoons. Books. on the rare occasions when she reads. Are all along those same lines. Yeh. no depth at all.

you should just know.

lying about what you want. hiding things from me. and yet I should somehow know?

ticking time bomb

Yeh. Hindsight is 20 20. Now especially because I have learnt so much about affairs and WWs twisted mind. So with this hindsight I look back on her history with men before me and realize that her LTA was pretty much inevitable.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3086 | Registered: Sep 2007
ontheslope
♂ Member
Member # 40574
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Off topic - well... not really but.

Anyone else trigger like a mo-fo when trying to buy a birthday card for their W? Y'all know how sappy/mushy all of those cards can bem. Every card I picked up was like getting punched in the chest. I had been trigger free for a while until I had to do that. Wow.

Just me?


Me: BH, 35
Her: WW, 36
Two girls 7 & 10
Married 12 years
Dday: July, 2009

She wants answers... I'm still trying to figure out what the questions are.


Posts: 255 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Maine, USA
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hallmark doesnt make cards for us.

Maybe some suggestions for Hallmark would be amusing.

*the cruelest lies are often told in silence.*
Robert Lewis Stevenson

*people are always fascinated by infidelity because, in the end - whether we've had direct experience or not - there's part of you that knows there's absolutely no more piercing betrayal. People are undone by it.*
Junot Diaz

*You took everything that was good in our lives and threw it all away.*
Razor

*I guess you werent paying attention during our vows before you said I do.*
Razor


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3086 | Registered: Sep 2007
DazedWI
♂ Member
Member # 41432
Default  Posted: 4:14 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unmet emotional needs, which they assume we know about but are never discussed

Lousy communication skills regarding anything of deep meaning or likely to provoke conflict

Low self-esteem and a need for external validation.

Ticking time bombs.

Bingo, hit the nail on the head! All of our wives seem to be the same!


ME (29) - BS
Her (29) - STBXWW
Dday - 10/25/2013
Married - 7/2007
Been Together - 9/2003

Posts: 83 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Midwest
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unmet emotional needs, which they assume we know about but are never discussed
Lousy communication skills regarding anything of deep meaning or likely to provoke conflict

Low self-esteem and a need for external validation.

Ticking time bombs.

Bingo, hit the nail on the head! All of our wives seem to be the same!

Has anyone else noticed that BWs have much the same complaints about their WH as we have about our WW?

Maybe cheating can be linked to a personality type that is common to both sexes?


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3086 | Registered: Sep 2007
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 4:18 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ontheslope.

I usually get cards with a picture on the front with nothing written inside. That works better for me.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3086 | Registered: Sep 2007
damaged71
♂ Member
Member # 36004
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Haven't posted in a while just wanted to relay a story.

I am in a training class today and decide to go eat lunch with two of the participants that I met in the class. One is talking about his divorce a few years ago. I asked what happened.
His response......Wait for it.

"she cheated on me". He said "I was willing to take her back but I found it was with 4 different men across our entire marriage".

Other guy at the table pipes up, "mine did too, that's why I'm divorced".

I didn't mention mine.

HOLY SHIT, DO ALL WOMEN CHEAT???????????

I am starting to think the answer to that is yes. I really am.

I know 1 guy that has cheated on his wife. I know something like 15 women that have cheated on their husbands.

Both guys said, " I could never do that, It's just not in me".

Are we just different, I don't get it.


I didn't know there was this much emotional pain in the universe!
Me 42
Her 44
D-day 5.18.12
Currently in R

Posts: 305 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: damaged71
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

that's generalizing 71-but I'm all in-every woman I dated cheated.


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5359 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 5:21 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not every woman I dated has cheated on me...but a majority of them has. I lost count of how many women I knew whose relationship was over and they started dating somebody new...they just waited a few months before letting their BH/BBF know the relationship was over they moved on with somebody else.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3365 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 5:24 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't say all women cheat. Just all the ones I've married. I believe there are as many faithful women out there as faithful men. When you spend a lot of time in a betrayed Menz thread reading about women cheating, and have a few anecdotal experiences IRL, it can make it seem rampant.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3305 | Registered: Dec 2011
damaged71
♂ Member
Member # 36004
Default  Posted: 5:45 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tred, I think I might disagree with you.

I am starting to think that women are more apt to cheat. Either this or I have surrounded myself with the most upstanding men that exist. I have traveled the globe with groups of men that didn't bring their wives on business. Not one single time did any of the men with me mention or lead me to believe in anyway that they were planning that.

I know of one guy that has cheated on his wife. I know tons of guys that have been cheated on.

There might be faithful women but They aren't around me or the people I associate with.

ETA: Tred, do you think the odds are better that you are just the unluckiest guy in the world or women naturally have the proclivity to cheat?

I think you defy statistics, unless they are skewed. I think they are skewed and "most" women cheat.

[This message edited by damaged71 at 5:49 PM, December 10th (Tuesday)]


I didn't know there was this much emotional pain in the universe!
Me 42
Her 44
D-day 5.18.12
Currently in R

Posts: 305 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: damaged71
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