Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Depressed4ever (43230)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 16
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here it's 31 with a low of 2 with 20 to 30 mph winds. Tomorrow the forecast calls for a high of 13 with a low of 10. Yikes!

8 below headed to 15 below. Wind chills ranging from 30 to 50 below. Balmy! Damn global warming.

Damaged, bout the same timeframe here. Same position also. Plain of lethal flatness. FWW is trying to pick up the slack. She is "In Love" with me, but then again, she was before. Hopefully the work she has done will allow me to fall back into love. Every timeframe I've seen here seems to be coming true, so I'm rather optimistic. I am concerned about the respect component.

Slope, sorry brother. I am probably not gonna get demoted, but I do know production is down.

ETA SDWB, First?

[This message edited by 5454real at 1:34 PM, January 6th (Monday)]


BH 50, WW 41
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 19(Hers),DS 8 Ours, DGS 2 1/2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2087 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Mr. Kite
♂ Member
Member # 28840
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Justgreatnews - "Liberating" is a great way to put it. Kissing her butt on a daily basis led her to other men. Since that didn't work out well, I now do my business with her in a different way. Don't have to be a mean, inconsiderate bastard but if there are inappropriate things said or done, we deal with them on the spot.

8 below headed to 15 below. Wind chills ranging from 30 to 50 below.

Wow! Bundle up. My DiL drove up the Packers game in Green Bay on Sunday and is now stuck there in a hotel because the roads back to Indiana are not safe to drive. Love the NFL but no way am I sitting there in the stands in that type of arctic weather. Crazy fans! LOL


Posts: 900 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Mid-Atlantic
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love the term Polar Vortex though, even if it does freeze the hell out of the Midwest. If I decide to change my user name, it's going to be SuperDuperPolarVortex It's only getting down into the single digits here (mid-Atlantic as well). Heater will be running all night in the greenhouse.

At least there's football on tonight so I won't feel like going out. Get a fire going in the furnace, grab a cold beer, and watch the last BCS title game.

Slope, I'm sorry as well mate. I'm still only about a quarter of what I used to be at work. After the first year I had to disclose that I was seeking psychological treatment to my company, as well as why. I think they took pity on me because they had to put the PTSD diagnosis in my records. Yay.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3306 | Registered: Dec 2011
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ETA SDWB, First?

I am waiting patiently and secretly.


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
ontheslope
♂ Member
Member # 40574
Default  Posted: 3:49 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Get a fire going in the furnace

Up here in Maine we call that a 'wood stove'. Semantic's maybe?

Slope, I'm sorry as well mate. I'm still only about a quarter of what I used to be at work. After the first year I had to disclose that I was seeking psychological treatment to my company, as well as why. I think they took pity on me because they had to put the PTSD diagnosis in my records. Yay.

Wondering if I should have let them know more than I did. Only thing I ever said was that I was having 'problems at home'. I guess if they knew that there were actual diagnosis involved it would be different (though I was only officially diagnosed with GAD - Generalized Anxiety Disorder... however my IC - who is a DO - has mentioned that I 'fit' PTSD very well, just nothing 'official' in my medical record).

Production is definitely down. My fault. I take blame. Just damn hard to concentrate on ANYTHING. 'Fucked in the head' is a good word for it. Just have no focus, no motivation. I'm better now, but for a while there I had to force myself out of bed in the morning, and work got about 10% of my attention.

Oh well. Another lesson learned, right?

Just put my head down and drive on.

Oh... and you know what I love about winter and cold weather? We (those of us in the states) complain about how cold it is, but there is this whole other country north of us, and they must laugh their asses off when we tell them about how cold it is.


Me: BH, 35
Her: WW, 36
Two girls 7 & 10
Married 12 years
Dday: July, 2009

She wants answers... I'm still trying to figure out what the questions are.


Posts: 255 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Maine, USA
neverwillhapn2me
♂ Member
Member # 41912
Default  Posted: 4:18 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Slope: I'm from that country to the north and tomorrow it will be -13F but with the wind feel like -40f. I don't think my furnace will even turn off LOL.

Well It was my first real day back at work from the holidays (worked from home the past 2 weeks) and I was fine all day until my drive home, mind Movies started to play and I got SOOO angry started to punch my dash and nearly ripped off my steering wheel screaming " HOW THE F#$%K COULDD YOU DO THIS!!!!!) I was able to quickly get them out of my head but I am starting to feel a little depressed and guilty because I truly don't think I want to R. I feel bad because of my two boys and I don't think my WW knows how much this will affect her or them. I believe this A is a deal breaker for me.

She has not done anything to suggest she is truly remorseful or wants to R ( except NC "she claims). Then again I haven't check up on her or ask for any passwords or made any demands because I don't think i want to R. Im the one all over the internet reading up on everything trying to find success stories to force my heart to want to R. I mean I haven't said two words to her in a week.

my WW is sleeping on the couch, i didn't want to wake her up this morning so i put my shoes on in the dark, little did i realize until i got to work, I put on 2 different pairs lol. One running shoe one dress shoe. Don't ask me how i didn't feel the difference. I wanted to tell her soo bad because lets face it, its funny as hell but im doing the 180 ahhhh....... i feel so alone, my best friend , my WW so hard. i better stop writing for now im getting too emotional.

Thanks again for listening to my ramble, i just wish i didn't feel so bad about not even wanting to R. I mean she had the A why do i feel so bad and guilty like im letting my family down?


The saddest thing about betrayal is it never comes from your enemies


If your searching for that one person that will change your life, look in the mirror.


Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Ontario
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 4:36 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Because you're normal?
If you allow yourself to "feel whatever you feel", in time, you begin to gain clarity.
Take your time and let yourself process stuff. It's going to be ok.

ots - hang in there man...

I think I'll go watch the game tonite too - don't have a dog in the hunt, just hope for a good one.


Posts: 6032 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

neverwillhapn2me,

As jj said, you're normal. Process the emotions. It's what the 180 is for. Ideally, you'll use this time to figure out who and what you want. Have you seen a lawyer? I highly advise it. Not pushing you in any direction, just want to make sure that you know what your options are. There's no timeline except the one you set.

I drive for a living. The proverbial travelling salesman(well, not just that, but....). I totally get the drive time blues. The mind movies were a bitch.

Thanks again for listening to my ramble, i just wish i didn't feel so bad about not even wanting to R. I mean she had the A why do i feel so bad and guilty like im letting my family down?

Don't feel bad about not wanting R. Affairs, by definition, end marriages. After all, it's just a vow. She broke it. If you don't want to hand her the knife to stab you again, you'll receive no blame here. Besides, she shows no/very little remorse. You feel bad because you honored the vow. You wanted to keep the family unit intact. You feel bad because you can't *fix* it.

180 brother. Don't ever feel bad about coming here to ramble.

Strength


BH 50, WW 41
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 19(Hers),DS 8 Ours, DGS 2 1/2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2087 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 5:29 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Outside Chicago here...-17 degrees... without the wind chill.


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1618 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Up here in Maine we call that a 'wood stove'. Semantic's maybe?

Nope. It's a whole house furnace - a bit different than a wood stove. It's made by US Stove Company and ties right into the house ducting and has a blower. Puts out 65k BTU, I go through about 3-4 cords of wood each season. We heat our 3 story house with it every winter. It's awesome (it was here when we bought the house so I can't take credit for it). I really enjoy the chainsaw, log splitting, John Deere riding therapy while I'm out logging for next season. Usually a tree or two goes down every year or I have a neighbor who loses one. This year we are burning Scarlet Oak, Hickory, and Cherry. Probably would of made nice furniture, but it's hard as shit to fit a dining room table into thee furnace. I've got three trees that are too close to the greenhouse that are earmarked for next year. Luckily I have a load of hardwood on my land. And too much damn Poplar.

No dog in the hunt for the game either - hoping it's hard hitting and close. Stay warm tonight mates. Looks like a 3 dog night (bonus points if you know the origin of that saying without the Google ).


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3306 | Registered: Dec 2011
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 5:55 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's been cold as hell here in Texas, too. High today was only 45 degrees, lows into the 20s tonight. Doesn't sound that bad, but try missing the sweet spot on your driver or 3-wood when it's 40 degrees. The open beer in the cart stays colder longer, but that's the only advantage.

Welcome to the new guys, stick around for awhile and you'll get some great advice. Maybe not from me, but you'll get some great advice from someone, eventually. Mostly, you'll get to hang out with some great guys, as well as Tred and SDWB. You will be initiated into the wonders of Friday afternoons, when we post pictures of whatever we plan on drinking that night. You'll see pictures of jjct with young honeys and 32-oz beers. And last and certainly least, you'll experience the wonder of WonderBoy's gifs. Many of which feature cats. If you're lucky, there will be a WAL (wincing_at-light) sighting before too long and you'll get the meaning of "WWS" (What Wal said).

Topics rarely stray too far from cheating wives, but occasionally we talk about craft beer, cliff diving in Jamaica, Florida vacations, the weather, and the economy of ancient Israel (really - WAL mentioned that once). Seriously, sorry you are here but if you have to be here, you found a great group of guys.

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 6:09 PM, January 6th (Monday)]


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1035 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
neverwillhapn2me
♂ Member
Member # 41912
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all,

I have not seen a lawyer as of yet, im kind of over whelmed right now and truly do not even know where to begin to search for one. Plus i do not want things to get nasty if i decide to D ( although i know it may be out of my control) i worry if i see a lawyer for consult and she finds out she may start a nasty battle.

My mother went through a D this past year and truly i do not even recognize my step father anymore. This got REAL nasty he fabricated stories and tried to take everything from her.

FYI i outed him in the A, he left his cell phone in my truck. i didn't even have to unlock his phone message popped up.

twice in one year a cell phone relieves a an A to me.

I think regardless i will need IC if im going to ever be able to trust anyone in a relationship going forward. Its hard to even admit that, growing up i was taught men don't ask for help and hide there emotions.

is there anyone on here who did not R and chose to D? It would be helpful to hear from them.

A little info about me 32 years old met my WW when i was 17, became best friends, started dating at 22. Married at 24. two kids 7 months and 5 years old.


The saddest thing about betrayal is it never comes from your enemies


If your searching for that one person that will change your life, look in the mirror.


Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Ontario
neverwillhapn2me
♂ Member
Member # 41912
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all,

I have not seen a lawyer as of yet, im kind of over whelmed right now and truly do not even know where to begin to search for one. Plus i do not want things to get nasty if i decide to D ( although i know it may be out of my control) i worry if i see a lawyer for consult and she finds out she may start a nasty battle.

My mother went through a D this past year and truly i do not even recognize my step father anymore. This got REAL nasty he fabricated stories and tried to take everything from her.

FYI i outed him in the A, he left his cell phone in my truck. i didn't even have to unlock his phone message popped up.

Twice in one year a cell phone reveals an A to me. What are the odds of that?

I think regardless i will need IC if im going to ever be able to trust anyone in a relationship going forward. Its hard to even admit that, growing up i was taught men don't ask for help and hide there emotions.

Is there anyone on here who did not R and chose to D? It would be helpful to hear from them.

A little info about me 32 years old met my WW when i was 17, became best friends, started dating at 22. Married at 24. two kids 7 months and 5 years old.


The saddest thing about betrayal is it never comes from your enemies


If your searching for that one person that will change your life, look in the mirror.


Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Ontario
neverwillhapn2me
♂ Member
Member # 41912
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry guys, I tried to edit due to spelling errors and it looks like I double posted.

My apologies.


The saddest thing about betrayal is it never comes from your enemies


If your searching for that one person that will change your life, look in the mirror.


Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Ontario
Mr. Kite
♂ Member
Member # 28840
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No worries, neverwillhapn2me. It's not a party until someone's double-posted.

Looks like a 3 dog night (bonus points if you know the origin of that saying without the Google)

I remember that it originates in Australia where it got so cold they would pull dogs into a hole with them to keep warm. No google. Honest.


Posts: 900 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Mid-Atlantic
DazedWI
♂ Member
Member # 41432
Default  Posted: 6:43 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Never,

I gave my wife one chance after I found her on a Friday, told her to choose me over the 52 year old OM and that I needed to move in with my parents but would be coming back 2-3 times a week to work things out. When I showed up on the following Wednesday, all of her stuff was out of the apartment we shared. Filed for divorce that same day as if she is going to choose someone her dad's age over me that is her own fault and I can do better. I did the 180 and it is freaking her out where at our temporary orders hearing she lost control of her emotions and verbally attacked me (it is easier for her to blame me as both her affair and marriage are over because of her doing). I STRONGLY recommend going to a lawyer for at least a consult. Now is the time to be protecting yourself as your WW is going to get nasty one way or the other. Its some tough things to hear but she only cares about herself right now and you should do the same. I am just afraid if you don't you will end up being stepped on by her and pushed around. You can do it amicable if you want but that card went out the window for me when my wife couldn't come talk to me and decided to have an affair. They will do anything to avoid having to take blame.


ME (29) - BS
Her (29) - STBXWW
Dday - 10/25/2013
Married - 7/2007
Been Together - 9/2003

Posts: 83 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Midwest
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lights out.

Who is getting the clock?


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 7:03 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
neverwillhapn2me
♂ Member
Member # 41912
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Im trying to catch up on the thread so i don't go asking too many similar questions. Im only on page 17 but i feel like i know most of you guys already.

Question, how do i read someone's profile?


The saddest thing about betrayal is it never comes from your enemies


If your searching for that one person that will change your life, look in the mirror.


Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Ontario
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Click on the smiley face on the right side of their post.


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.