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Calling all BSs...

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Dyinghere posted 11/22/2013 20:41 PM

I need to read this several times.

LifeIsBroken posted 11/22/2013 20:55 PM

I wish I had found SI on D-Day instead of 6 months later.

I wish I had could have read nomadlady's research paper on D-Day instead of several years later.

Both would have saved a lot of grief. I didn't do everything wrong; I did some things very right. But this site and articles like this would have made the path more clear. It's just plain hard to think straight when you're hit with a cheating spouse after 35 yrs of M.

Thank you. You nailed it all.

Newme123 posted 11/22/2013 21:50 PM

Great words of wisdom. Now I just need to follow them myself.

betraydtwice posted 11/22/2013 23:51 PM

Very clear and precise. Makes a good read for everyone. I love this post. Thank you so much :)

Want To Wake Up posted 11/23/2013 00:24 AM

Shocked2believe posted 11/23/2013 02:19 AM

What a incredible post. Thank you for that. I agree, it should perhaps go into the Healing Library. All new BS to SI should read it. Let's keep it going. .....

NoAnswers37 posted 11/23/2013 04:03 AM

Very very good post, easy to read but covers all of the important aspects of betrayal. I think it will help new BSs feel more "normal" with the inevitable emotions they will sadly go through at the beginning.

Agreed, this needs to stay at the top!

Bravo, I think this will give a lot of people strength. And ultimately, that's all we want.

jackie89 posted 11/23/2013 06:54 AM

Wow! You are a great researcher, what I wouldn't of done to have read this when I had just found out!
This really needs to be in both the Healing Library and the JUST FOUND OUT forum!

Mods, please don't let this gem get lost..

selkiescot posted 11/23/2013 07:13 AM

All veryy true. Great job.

Tred posted 11/23/2013 07:23 AM

Nomad - I'm impressed. Very well covered. This is definitely good advice whether your a newbie or been here for a while.

SBB posted 11/23/2013 07:36 AM

Another vote for the Healing Library.


Stillheart posted 11/23/2013 08:25 AM

Excellent summary of what the BS deals with. Good read for all.

TheAmazingWondertwin posted 11/23/2013 11:12 AM

I scrolled through and took screen shots of the whole thing so that I can go back and reread it.
That was extremely well done. Thank you.

catatonic posted 11/23/2013 11:33 AM

Excellent post
Thank you for taking the time.
So concise and to the point.

TheRealDeal posted 11/23/2013 11:36 AM

Thank you so much for this. you are certainly in the right career field and am sure you are successful

This is another vote for the Healing Library.

sinsof thefather posted 11/23/2013 11:42 AM

Great Post Nomad - Thank you.

nomistakeaboutit posted 11/23/2013 14:18 PM

Seriously, Nomad. You've only been on SI since September and have only 22 posts, and you can write this?? You are nothing less than a genius. No more words, other than thank you.

StillStanding1 posted 11/23/2013 19:43 PM

Seriously, Nomad. You've only been on SI since September and have only 22 posts, and you can write this?? You are nothing less than a genius.

^^^^totally agree.

If not added to the Healing Library, this looks like the start of a second career as an author! You've managed to sum it all up, clearly and concisely. Wow! While I know all of this to be true already, it helps to see it there, all wrapped up with a nice little bow.

Yep, the risks are high. I'm cautious and not a gambler by nature... so why on earth am I trying to R? Can you take that on in "Chapter 2"? Actually, you can skip the diagnosis... I think I already know... sigh.

Keep up the great posts. I look forward to reading more. Best of luck with your journey.

FightingBack posted 11/24/2013 01:22 AM

Excellent. Thank you.

Bumped to the top.

Laura28 posted 11/24/2013 02:10 AM

Thank You


Scientist posted 11/24/2013 05:56 AM

This is brilliant. I wish I had seen something this clear, and so accurate, at dday 1. Certainly the part about staying friends = high risk. I could have dealt with it there and then, and not had dday 2.
On the other hand, according to this analysis, chances of R are high for me/us, as WW appears to be doing all the right things, and doing them without any prompting by me. And keeps saying how ashamed she is about her choices, both of having a PA and the particular low-lfe OM.
So thank you for posting.

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