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User Topic: Calling all BSs...
4everfaithful83
♀ Member
Member # 41761
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, January 26th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great post! Thank you!!


Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 31
WBF: 27
Together 7 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...


Posts: 565 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
Dobegirl
♀ Member
Member # 41837
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, January 26th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Omygosh exactly what I needed to read today. Going to bookmark this one for sure..thanks, thanks, thanks!


Me- BS 44 Always faithfull
Him- WS 44
2 mo. EA/PA with 25 yr. old slut that stroked his ego, online profiles, CL ads
Married 8 years-No kids together
DDay-11/21/12
False R many different times fromJan/13 till Dec/13
Divorcing

Posts: 151 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Northern Indiana
Harriet
♀ Member
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 11:21 PM, January 26th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to add my enthusiatic praise. Really wonderful. Thank you.


D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 468 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
NikkiD
♀ Member
Member # 38173
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, January 27th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This was so on point!! Thank you a million times over


"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
ME: BS-33
HE: WS-32
Married 3 years, known 20
2 kids
D-Day #1 12/30/12
False Recovery
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Living apart....

Posts: 668 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
Dawn58
♀ Member
Member # 37656
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, January 27th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Right on! Excellent post that really lays it out.

I so relate to trying to figure out the "Why it happened". That has taken me so long to accept that and as you pointed out, comes from that part of me that wants to fix it and is having a hard time letting go. I finally have come to the conclusion that he is very wounded and does not realize it. He acts out of that place, there was nothing I could do. I was blindsided by his affair, everyone was shocked. He is very good at deception.

I choose to divorce my husband, my mediation is in April. Not an easy choice but the only one I could make. I filed a year ago and the road has definitely had it's ups and downs.

I am 14 months out and am starting to feel that my heart is healing. I found my laughter again, I have moments of great happiness and relish my freedom. I have tremendous gratitude that I am not with my STBX and I still have moments of great sadness that I am not with him. And the hurt still bubbles up but doesn't consume me like it did before. Life does move on.

I really hope your post can go into the Healing Library, I think it will be most helpful to all BS to read.


I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.

Posts: 468 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Southern California
Pippy
♀ Member
Member # 16482
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, March 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


I divorced him because I didn't like his girlfriend.
M 30 yrs.


Posts: 9588 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: East of the Rockies
mchercheur
♀ Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 8:50 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BUMP


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1393 | Registered: Dec 2012
lovedmesomehim
♀ Member
Member # 25743
Default  Posted: 12:57 AM, April 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is so relevant and comprehensive.

mchercheur, thank you for requesting that it be bumped.


Lovedmesomehim


Posts: 465 | Registered: Oct 2009
littleflower
♀ Member
Member # 42673
Default  Posted: 2:52 AM, April 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks you for writing this nomadlady

It really is just what I needed to read at the moment


DD 13/1/14
Him WH
OW now X BFF
3 kids under 4

Posts: 98 | Registered: Mar 2014
thecosmogirl
♀ Member
Member # 39707
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, April 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So glad I logged on and saw this.
Thank you!!


Me: BS
Him: doesn't matter anymore...or does it...

Being very, very careful

D-day 14 June 2013


I'm smart, good looking and gosh darn it, people like me!


Posts: 165 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: trying to figure it out
HeBrokeVows
♀ Member
Member # 43252
Default  Posted: 9:19 PM, April 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I needed this post today. Great information to keep my head on straight. Thank you!


Dday March 12, 2014. Found out my husband of almost 10 years was having an affair, first emotional then physical for 6 months.

Posts: 392 | Registered: Apr 2014
ShellyShell
♀ Member
Member # 42662
Default  Posted: 9:43 PM, April 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is amazing. I wish I'd read this years ago!

Posts: 95 | Registered: Mar 2014
slicerboy
♂ Member
Member # 22202
Default  Posted: 11:02 AM, May 22nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I needed to read this today... thanks!


Me: Realizing my worth
Her: Escaping

Two children, innocent victims (14 & 15)

When I look back, we both hurt each other in so many ways and our lack of honesty and maturity coupled with poor communication led us to where we are today


Posts: 810 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Minneapolis
need_hope
♀ Member
Member # 23989
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, May 22nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I missed this the first time around. Thank you nomadlady! That was a very concise and well written post.


Me - happily single
Him - no longer matters
Married 28 yrs
Filed for D 1/10
DIVORCED 12/12

Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.


Posts: 1732 | Registered: May 2009 | From: East Coast
Mom-of-4
♀ Member
Member # 29927
Default  Posted: 11:38 AM, May 22nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is the BEST synopsis of life as a member of SI! This is brilliant, true, and incredibly validating. This NEEDS TO BE IN THE HEALING LIBRARY!!!!


Me- BS 42
WH-43-5 month PA- outed when I was 28 weeks pregnant with baby #4
Married-13 yrs
Children- 5 children under the age of 10
OW- his boss' wife, a "friend"

*Winners never cheat and cheaters never win*


Posts: 213 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: The South
Twentyplus
♀ Member
Member # 39593
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, May 22nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did read this last fall but without true comprehension.

Think/hope I've got it now. This all applies in spades when dealing with an SA spouse.

Thank you, Nomad.


"But we must supply our own light." - Stanley Kubrick


Posts: 66 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: The Big Blue Sea
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, May 22nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey Mods!

NomadLady is a researcher, and THIS literature deserves publication somewhere, even if it's just a pin to the top of the Forum for a while.

Just awesome


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2248 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
FightingBack
♀ Member
Member # 34770
Default  Posted: 1:10 AM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to bump this great thread.


Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

Posts: 774 | Registered: Feb 2012
neecee
♀ Member
Member # 43523
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is so well thought out and composed. Great for all BS to read!!! Thanks for bumping!!


What doesn't kill me.....better run cause when I get back up I'm gonna kick some ass!!!
me 44
WH 46
married 19 years
together 28 years
3 children 16,14,7
OW-lucky to be alive!!!!
D-Day 5/8/2014

Posts: 123 | Registered: May 2014 | From: new york
littleflower
♀ Member
Member # 42673
Default  Posted: 7:40 AM, August 18th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


DD 13/1/14
Him WH
OW now X BFF
3 kids under 4

Posts: 98 | Registered: Mar 2014
Topic Posts: 105
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