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User Topic: The other marriage the WS damaged
TheThreeYearFool
♀ Member
Member # 41218
Default  Posted: 12:04 AM, November 24th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I need to smack some sense into myself.

I don't do Facebook. At all. Not my thing. But OW does, so I crept it hard. And there's a ton of her wedding photos on there.

Tonight I looked at them and saw the look on her XBH's face. He looked so happy.

And six or so months later my WH went and ruined that man's life. With the full participation of OW of course, but...

It's a new pain to think that the man I thought so highly of would so thoughtlessly hurt this random guy who did nothing wrong besides marrying a thoughtless woman.

Since her XBH found out about the A some time ago I haven't reached out to him. I don't know how to do so, but I think about it. I want to know when he found out, I want to know how OW convinced him not to confront me or my WH, I want to tell him I'm so sorry for the pain my WH caused.

But on the other hand, is there really anything to say at all? I think I just need to forget that any of these people exist.


Me - BW 36
Him - WH 41
Together 12 years, married 7
3 year LTA with former coworker
DDay 10/29/13
He says he wants to R... can I live with what he's done?

Posts: 150 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: United States
Smokehouse
♂ Member
Member # 40203
Default  Posted: 12:35 AM, November 24th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have the exact same feelings. I asked my wife if any marriage was sacred? Can't remember what her answer was but, I remember it being stupid. When I said I was contacting the other BS she insisted I was just trying to ruin their marriage and just cause problems. Her and him ruined the marriages!

Now she's disgusted with her actions! Why wasn't it disgusting before? So sad are the people involved in the actual affairs! Boundaries people, boundaries!


Posts: 147 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Ohio
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:04 AM, November 24th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How do you know he knows? Please don't tell me that your husband gave you this information.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9283 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
20Hopeful16
♀ Member
Member # 40487
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, November 24th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The other BS and I found out on the same day. We have talked since then, and it was sort of cathartic to be able to discuss things and compare notes.

One of the things that really bothered my from our discussion was his hurt that my WH could look him in the eye, shake his hand, and be friendly with him while all this was going on. Its just another thing that rips into my heart when I think about it.


Me: BS (39)
Three Beautiful Children 12,9,5
DD: 8/24/13
Heading for divorce
Moving on with life

Posts: 107 | Registered: Aug 2013
TheThreeYearFool
♀ Member
Member # 41218
Default  Posted: 2:24 PM, November 24th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nature_Girl, I have independent evidence that her XBH knows. Specifically one of the emails she sent my WH during the A when WH was distancing from her. Going on and on about how she "protected" WH when her XBH found out and kept her BH from contacting me or WH.

At the beginning of the email she wrote something about how she felt like she's "the only one being punished for being with someone I care about."

I don't think I'm going to reach out to her XBH though. What more information could he tell me that would be helpful to me? I need to focus on taking care of myself.


Me - BW 36
Him - WH 41
Together 12 years, married 7
3 year LTA with former coworker
DDay 10/29/13
He says he wants to R... can I live with what he's done?

Posts: 150 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: United States
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, November 24th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In my case, it was the other marriage, but it was also the lives of MOW's 2 cute little boys that were forever altered.

Selfish.fucking.people.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7425 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
niaveone
♀ Member
Member # 40317
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, November 24th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I used to think this way too. My WS actually was torn up inside about the fact that he hurt that family too (one of the many reasons he had guilt after DDay#1).

After DDay#2 and the fog had lifted, we learned WS was a pawn in a game the MOW and her MWS played againste each other. They screwed anything they could for as long as they had been married. MOW portrayed herself as a dedicated housewife that was loyal to her own verbally abusive wayward spouse.

So, now I realize OUR marriage was the only one violated in this whole mess. Their marriage imploded on its own (lack of) merit. While I still blame WS for bringing that trash into our marriage, I will never get to the point of not putting any blame on her. She manipulated him, then *fell in love* with him, then manipulated him again to try and gain him for herself. I will never get over that fact.

[This message edited by niaveone at 7:29 PM, November 24th (Sunday)]


Me: BS
Him: WS
Married: 16 years
2 children
2 DDays

Posts: 193 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 7

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