marton - the result of truthful answers has been the birth of more triggers.
Yes, its does seem a double edge sword that our truthful answers appear to be the cause of pain. However, what is the alternative? Lie?
Those lies would eventually come out and trickle truth is perhaps more harmful to the chances of reconciliation than the affair is. Its not the first lie that hurts the most, its the continuing lies and distrust.
That is why your being asked to put on your big girl panties and do the right thing by answering your BSO questions when asked. Yes, sometimes those answers create pain but its not less than the pain of continual lies, its just different pain.
Just be honest with yourself. Are you thinking of leaving because your BSO triggers and suffers or are you thinking of leaving because the continual barrage of triggers that your BSO is suffering is hurting your own self image? Is is guilt or shame or fear or simply a desire to leave?
Answer those questions honestly and perhaps, you will be able to see why you are thinking this way.
wincings_sparkle - If it hurts, it is something worth looking at. If it makes you angry, it is something worth looking at. If it makes you cry, it is something worth looking at.