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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Does he really know what he is missing? I wonder...
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 4:48 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone, but just to be clear I'm still at home and just contemplating D/S from a wife who has emotionally abused me in the worst way. The loss of time with my kids, and breaking up my kids' happy home, will be the consequences of whatever choice I make. As for my WW, she's a big girl, she made her own choices, and can live with them as far as I'm concerned. I just wish the rest of us didn't have to live with them. The kids had no choice. I have two choices...both really bad.

Apologies for the t/j Phoenix1 but I think we are somewhat staying on topic here.

Me (BS)-45, WW-43
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
M - 18 years, 4 children

Posts: 1461 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that those who walk away are never really satisfied with anything, ever. They are constantly trying to fill that vacant spot in their black souls, but they don't realize that whatever they are searching for, they will never find.

I third this. I remember one of the few serious fights I had with my STBX years ago. I remember telling her angrily, "You are a bottomless well. I can pour and pour for the rest of my life and you will not be satisfied. There is something in you that will not be satisfied. You have placed me so high on a pedestal as The One to undue everything you went through in your life that if I ever waver, to you I will have toppled off this pedestal. That is too much of a burden for me and unfair."

I was proven right. Nothing could fill the void and she walked away looking for the next thing. Now that I look back at it, even if I'd been the perfect husband (whatever that means) it was inevitable. She would have cheated and she would have left me.

But goddam her, I still miss her ( who I thought she was) especially when I am having fun and loving times with our children and her "chair" is empty.

[This message edited by Abbondad at 5:04 PM, November 26th (Tuesday)]

Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

Posts: 1643 | Registered: Dec 2012
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Same here-- mine will never be happy. He looks for external validation, and when that wasn't coming from his family life, he sought it elsewhere. He could never see the happy that was right in front of his face, and as a result, he's flung it all aside in pursuit of creating his "new" family that is supposedly making him happy... until it doesn't.

BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3623 | Registered: Oct 2011
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are a bottomless well. I can pour and pour for the rest of my life and you will not be satisfied. There is something in you that will not be satisfied.
I think this is true for all disordered, unremorseful WS's. This is what I have to think of when those thoughts start creeping into my head, late at night. This has nothing to do with us, and nothing we did could have changed anything.

D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

Posts: 3426 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine saw his kids a total of 3 times. Total hrs spent in 3 visits? Less than 3 hrs!

Those are his babies too!

My kids are heartbroken. My heart hurts for them. I just don't understand...

Even if I was the worst wife in the world (which I was not), why abandon his own kids?!

[This message edited by Exit Wounds at 8:24 AM, December 19th (Thursday)]

Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
Topic Posts: 25
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