Welcome to the Roller Coaster from Hell.
Two years out, we're still very much on it. Great days, the BAM, It's all my fault because the sky is blue and the sun came up today. What!?
There are days when even when the WS is doing above and beyond, it's still not "enough". When a BS tanks, nothing is ever good enough. Just grit your teeth and hang on. Vent your frustrations here, a journal, outside on a tree. Don't take it out on your BS, as hard as it is. That kinda makes things worse. Don't ask me how I know.
Do not tell her how unfair she is, how irrational she is, or ask why is she not over this already. Just, don't.
And please know, that with time and consistent, positive steps in the right direction, things will get better.