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User Topic: Proper etiquette.....to ask or not to ask xmas bonus?
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
What?  Posted: 12:48 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So....last year I got a Christmas bonus....the Monday before Thanksgiving. I am an accountant and was able to see that we allotted for a bonus this year (a lump sum to be distributed to all employees) and texted a friend of mine in confidence and asked her if she knew or not if we would be getting one and she said yes, she got hers yesterday.

Here is thing.

I was out yesterday because my 15 month old daughter had a temperature of 104 and I had to take her to the doctor.

She is still not well today but I came into work anyways and caught up on my work from yesterday ASAP.

I haven't heard anything about the bonus today. No email from my boss saying to come to her office at a certain time (like she did last year) Nada. Zip. Zilch.

I'm a little concerned. I don't know if this means that A. *I* am not getting one B. My job is in jeopardy (of which I don't know why) or C. They just haven't gotten to our department yet (even though we got ours last year the Monday before Thanksgiving and my friend got hers yesterday....and they do this so that we have it before the Black Friday holiday shopping)

Is it rude to ask my boss if we are getting a bonus? Bad etiquette? Should I just wait it out til tomorrow? What would you all do? I desperately need the money....

The waiting game is about to kill me though...I've bitten my nails down to bloody nubs just about....

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 12:50 PM, November 26th (Tuesday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2710 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
alphakitte
♀ Member
Member # 33438
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You'll probably get a mixed response to this questions.

On the one hand, bonuses are compensation and asking what your compensation will be is a fair question. On the other hand, if there isn't clear language in your employment contract, and if management hasn't discussed qualifications for a bonus, you are in a tough spot. Keep in mind that bonuses may be based on profits and any bonus may vary from department to department, even job to job.

I think it is fair to ask about it, but be prepared to hear that you aren't getting one, and why. Asking now, or next week, probably won't change the outcome.


------ Some people are emotional tadpoles. Even if they mature they are just a warty toad. Catt

Posts: 347 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: 3 klicks north of Ambiguous
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree. I just didn't know if I should wait and not ask and see if she comes to me this week...or if I should just bite the bullet tonight before I leave and ask outright? Either way I would like to know because, I will be totally honest....that's how I do Christmas. I won't be able to afford it otherwise. So, if I'm not getting one, I would like to be prepared for knowing that...


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2710 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you received it in the past then it's okay to ask. Just ask if bonuses are being given out this year like they were in the past. They will either say yes or no but asking will alleviate your anixety. Depending on the answer you can follow up by asking was it a company wide decisions or was it per individual and performance based.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
D hopefully official in 7/2014

Posts: 1834 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
Pentup
♀ Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think since you are In accounting and you know the $ was allotted, I think you could ask. Did you ask her if you missed anything yesterday. More than likely she forgot because you were not there yesterday.


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6427 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 1:30 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay....if I don't hear anything I will ask before I leave....

Is it best to ask her in person you think?


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2710 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
alphakitte
♀ Member
Member # 33438
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Either way I would like to know because, I will be totally honest....that's how I do Christmas. I won't be able to afford it otherwise. So, if I'm not getting one, I would like to be prepared for knowing that...

^^ This is what is driving your feeling of desperation.

Bonuses, like pay checks, are compensation for work performed, not to necessarily meet the financial needs of the employee. You mention that if you aren't getting a bonus you would like to be prepared for knowing that. Maybe you would like to take advantage of Black Friday sales, if you knew you were getting a bonus, but, again, none of that is your employer's problem.

You're letting your desperation drive your behavior.


------ Some people are emotional tadpoles. Even if they mature they are just a warty toad. Catt

Posts: 347 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: 3 klicks north of Ambiguous
ajsmom
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Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is it rude to ask my boss if we are getting a bonus?

IMO?

Yes. And incredibly unprofessional unless it is an EXPECTED part of your overall compensation package for the year.

Hold off until they tell you one way or the other.

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21032 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess its more that I consider it part of my income. We don't get raises.... we get bonuses.... and I got one last year. I would hope if I wasn't going to get one, that I would at least be told so.


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2710 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
wildbananas
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Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 1:39 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To me, it depends on the relationship you have with your boss. My former two bosses? I would have no issue asking if they were giving bonuses this year. My current boss? Nope, not so much. He's very nice and I like him and all but I've only been working for him for a couple months. I wouldn't feel comfortable with it.

So, do you have a good relationship with her? Is she aware of your financial circumstances? How does she seem to feel about it?

Or maybe... is there a coworker somewhere you'd feel comfortable asking about it?


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15361 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's the thing....I asked a co-worker down the hall and she said she got her bonus yesterday....but I was out with my sick child....

I have a fairly decent relationship with my boss. I like her a lot...but she is professional too when she needs to be. She knows I'm a single mom...so I'm sure she knows that its not easy.

UGH....I don't know what to do. I've been here going on 2 years...and I got a substantial bonus last year.... and it helped SO MUCH....


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2710 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
alphakitte
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Member # 33438
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess its more that I consider it part of my income.

But it isn't how you see it that is most important. If it isn't in hard print as being a part of your compensation, then it isn't. Does you employer consider it more of a gift, a token of appreciation?

My assistant gets a salary and a bonus that she knows how it is calculated and what she can expect. It is part of her contractual compensation. She gets a personal gift and a financial gift from me every year, but it is based on what I want to give. She might think of it as a bonus, but it isn't, and I would be offended if she asked about it in that context.

If she needed money and came to me to discuss her need to see if we could come up with a solution, that I would understand.

So how you consider this bonus isn't what is critical, here.


------ Some people are emotional tadpoles. Even if they mature they are just a warty toad. Catt

Posts: 347 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: 3 klicks north of Ambiguous
Pentup
♀ Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whether you decide to ask or not, I would not include why you need/want it or anything.

I have a boss that I could say, "doing some shopping on Friday, if we are getting a bonus, let me know so I shop accordingly!" She would laugh. We would both laugh, because there are no bonuses in our company.

AJ'smom is in HR, I would listen to her.


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6427 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, its actually called a bonus. I know that much. I don't know what to do. If I'm not getting one, that's fine, but it would be nice to know either way.

I guess I will just assume I'm not getting one. Is it bad that I feel guilty for staying home with my sick child because I would have been here and KNOWN if my coworkers got a bonus cause I sit near my bosses office and I would have seen them go in and out of her office and shutting the door. But, because I stayed home to take care of my child, I will never know.

I was excited about Christmas this year. Not so much now.

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 1:58 PM, November 26th (Tuesday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2710 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
alphakitte
♀ Member
Member # 33438
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Regardless of what it is called, the fact that you don't know if you're getting one, or how much it would be points to it being a token of appreciation.

If it is referred to as a Christmas bonus, that also points toward it being a "one-off" even if it has happened more than once.

I think AJ's advice is the best and that you should wait to see what unfolds.


------ Some people are emotional tadpoles. Even if they mature they are just a warty toad. Catt

Posts: 347 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: 3 klicks north of Ambiguous
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've heard of people getting fired over asking about holiday bonus money. I would not ask.

If you are getting one, you will get it when your boss feels like giving it to you. If you aren't, well you'll know that too when a check doesn't come.

I know it is hard around this time of year. Don't do anything that could jeopardize your job.


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3523 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Catwoman
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Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why are you asking co-workers? It will only serve to make you look unprofessional.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29541 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why are you asking co-workers? It will only serve to make you look unprofessional.

I didn't just ask ANY coworker. I asked a friend of mine who works here via text AND I asked her if I could ask her a work-related personal question and told her that if she didn't feel comfortable answering that it was okay. She, of course, didn't mind. We hang out outside of work and go to each other's daughter's birthdays. I wouldn't just ask anyone. I asked a friend.

I don't plan on saying anything to my boss or anyone else. I'm just going to wait it out.

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 2:59 PM, November 26th (Tuesday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2710 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Pentup
♀ Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you Christmas bonus mojo!


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6427 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 3:08 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Keep us posted! If it's direct deposited, check your bank account - maybe it slipped your boss's mind.....


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7430 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
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