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Newest Member: BrokenBrunette (44275)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Is this really true?
neverbeokay
Member
Member # 8275
Default  Posted: 5:34 AM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MAYBE 80% of the WS regret it, but I'm betting the BS side of that is NO WAY close to that number.

That is my thought too. I do not regret getting divorced. I regret making the decision to marry him.


Posts: 282 | Registered: Sep 2005
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 6:38 AM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah ... 80% of who?

In the end my D was not about infidelity. yes there was infidelity but there was so much else. No I do not regret it.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8407 | Registered: Apr 2008
ruby44
♀ Member
Member # 41135
Default  Posted: 6:49 AM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now the statistic my IC told me was that 80% of marriages between a WS and an AP fail since their relationship foundation is made up of lies and deception. That is a much more believable statistic.


Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home. We are slowly working toward that but are still

Posts: 263 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Midwest
debbysbaby
♀ Member
Member # 32962
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MAYBE 80% of the WS regret it, but I'm betting the BS side of that is NO WAY close to that number.

^^^^^^
This

I only regret marrying him and staying with him as long as I did.


-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004

Posts: 843 | Registered: Aug 2011
peacelovetea
♀ Member
Member # 26071
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex was mostly remorseful (he did *try* to fix things and I think he was genuine about that, he just failed miserably), had "only" a ONS, and I still don't regret the D. I regret that it came to D, that my kids now have to grow up with D parents, but the D has been a wonderfully freeing thing for me.


BW, SAHM
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final

Posts: 542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If it is, I'm in the 20%. My divorce was possibly the best decision I've ever made in my entire life.

I'm no longer encumbered with dead weight, and I am confident that things would not have gotten better in our marriage - they would have gotten much worse - had we not gotten a divorce. It's inevitable when one person (my ex) is unwilling to take responsibility for their own actions or emotions, and act the victim when their refusal has consequences. No thanks...


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13564 | Registered: Jul 2011
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I regret than any of it happened.

I regret meeting him, marrying him, having children with him so it follows that I also regret being in a position to divorce him.

Given I don't have a time machine divorcing him is the only decision left for me.

It sounds like a shonky statistic, IMO.

Divorcing because you grew apart and both let an M die a quiet little death is quite different to divorcing where infidelity is involved. IMO lots of folk can't fight for an M once you add infidelity to a mix.

Infidelity is just one of the weapons in the arsenal of emotional abuse a WS subjects a BS to.

I can absolutely see people regretting being married to a cheater but I simply cannot imagine regretting divorcing a cheater.

[This message edited by SBB at 1:19 PM, November 27th (Wednesday)]


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5419 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Jayne Doe
♀ Member
Member # 32664
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How can anyone regret it?

IF we stayed together, I don't think I would ever be able to trust him again, ever. What kind of marriage would that be?
Nope. No thank you!


Everyday is a blank canvas, and only you hold the brush.
30y M traded in for a POM (pathetic Old Maid 46, 2 kids from different dads. never married)
S 11/11, D final 1/14.

Posts: 1454 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Suburbia, Arizona
wontdefineme
♀ Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 6:01 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Of course the WS regrets being divorced, we are more than thrilled to be free of the cheater. The affair was a little extra curricular activity and an escape from reality. Once they wake up, their life is never the same. They have to live with their screw up.

Posts: 2126 | Registered: Mar 2011
damncutekitty
♀ Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why on earth would I regret divorcing someone who cheated on me?

When someone treats you with utter thoughtlessness and cruelty, the only possible thing to regret is that you didn't leave sooner.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49447 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
Topic Posts: 30
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