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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: What should I do?
ninebark
♀ Member
Member # 24534
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so ANGRY today!!!

STBEXH told DS on the weekend that he would take him to see a basketball game tonight with one of DS' buddies from martial arts class and friend's dad.

DS has guitar lessons and then he can go after. So we leave for lessons at 5, it is currently almost 3 and I have heard nothing from him. No confirmation of what time he is coming, if he is coming...etc.

I want to call him, just so DS will have a good time and not be dissapointed, but at the same time I am tired of being the one to make all these arrangements. If he wants to be a father to our son he really needs to step up to the plate. TO call or not to call that is the question (and can I do it without getting snarky)

Ugh sometimes I really hate that man!!!


BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.

Posts: 630 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Canada
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Would it be unusual for DS to call his father and inquire, leaving you out of it?


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25259 | Registered: Aug 2011
ninebark
♀ Member
Member # 24534
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is exactly what I ended up doing. I asked DS about supper and he said "dad is taking me out". So I told him he had better call dad. I know ex forgot but at least he is going to do it.


BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.

Posts: 630 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Canada
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep. He's 12. He can speak to XH when needed. Take yourself out of the equation as much as possible. It sucks when they can't remember from day to day what they promise.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5475 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
ninebark
♀ Member
Member # 24534
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's true, DS is going to have to deal with his dad. I just hate seeing him disappointed when his dad makes yet another promise and then forgets about it.

He didn't get to meet up with his friend either...but at least he had a good time at the game.


BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.

Posts: 630 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Canada
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 11:47 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Texting is a wonderful thing. I don't have to hear SXTBXH's voice, and I can take all the time I want to decide what to say or not to say.

i.e. "DS will be back from lessons at 5:40. Please confirm that you will pick him up for the game at 5:45."


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1741 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know you don't want your son to be disappointed, but it IS going to happen some time. I've been told many times on here that I am no longer responsible for the relationship The Princess has with our boys.

You handled this well, but you may want to consider letting it play out next time. Your boy will be disappointed, and you will be there to help him through it. He has a lifetime of dealing (or not) with this arsehole ahead of him. He might as well learn who is the reliable parent.

But I know it sucks.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1888 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Topic Posts: 7

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