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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: My Anniversary Gift - The "Truth"
erzulie
♀ Member
Member # 3293
Flame  Posted: 2:51 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Monday would have been my 7th wedding anniversary.

I met with WH at counseling, one last time, so that he could "give me the truth". After about 20 minutes of explaining why he needed to do this - a lot of "I need to become truly vulnerable", "I want to build my house from rock, not sand", that sort of thing ... he admitted to one physical affair. Then, casually mentioned that there were actually two.

No idea whether there were two, or twelve, or none, really. To watch him explain how he arranged to meet these women via the Internet was enough to turn my stomach for a LONG time.

The cherry on the cake had to do with him travelling out of town this past June to attend his class reunion in Florida. I was unable to go, because a year before I had committed myself to a week of volunteerism at an animal sanctuary in Utah - an annual trip with my animal welfare friends. My trip and his reunion overlapped, so he opted to go alone. My mom and brother came to my house to care for the dogs so he could go. So ... he went, met with family, friends out there. And met with his sex hookup while he was there. Then, came back home, said how much he missed me, had sex with me, and went back to pretending to be Husband of the Year.

Now, all I need to do is figure out how to alleviate the nausea before I go to see my family tomorrow for Thanksgiving. Suggestions?


A saying for my SI Family: "We may not have it all together, but together we have it all".

Fooled twice - almost exactly 10 years apart.


Posts: 3377 | Registered: Jan 2004 | From: California
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((erzulie))))) Sweet fancy Moses. I'm so sorry you had to listen to that bullshit. Self-serving and cruel, to say the least.

Please tell me you are done listening? Please? Because this is damage you didn't need.

Big hugs, honey.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25680 | Registered: Aug 2011
erzulie
♀ Member
Member # 3293
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, I don't feel damaged by it, truly. I feel freed by it.

Just the process of witnessing it unfold has caused me to lose my lunch a bit ...


A saying for my SI Family: "We may not have it all together, but together we have it all".

Fooled twice - almost exactly 10 years apart.


Posts: 3377 | Registered: Jan 2004 | From: California
gypsybird87
♀ Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 3:08 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((erzulie))

Wow. A gift, yes... but one that keeps on giving just a little too much. How these people can even live with themselves is totally beyond me.

I have a theory that the level of disgust/nausea etc we experience over their actions is directly relative to how much BETTER we are, as people, than they are.

He is so beneath you. A case full of barf bags beneath you.

Keep staying strong.


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 912 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, I don't feel damaged by it, truly. I feel freed by it.

Honey, I totally get this. I had my lightbulb moment in the middle of the night myself.
Must be the holidays.
Eat lots of gigner bread and ginger cookies or ginger ale! Ginger is fantastic for nauseating XHs!
Bwahahaha


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2325 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Topic Posts: 5

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