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Newest Member: alwaysnforever (44266)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: WH wants to spend holidays with the fam
prowoman
♀ Member
Member # 40761
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So more or less I kicked out WH on Monday when he decided to hang out with his whore. He called and texted me today a bunch of times today and finally sent an e-mail about wanting to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with me and the kids and my family I guess he realized I wasn't joking today? I don't even begin to know how to handle the actually being apart thing! By the Grace of God I have a few weeks being home and can handle the kids' schedules for now- but it's about to get crazy, and I'm gonna have to start actually dealing with him again. I'm thinking definitely No for thanksgiving and take the couple weeks to myself and try and get things figured out. But I don't know about Christmas! It's not like he has his own place and can take our kids for the weekends or something. And that's good because I don't want my children anywhere near his whore but at the same time I have no clue how this works out with us. Too much to think about! I feel like every problem in my life nowadays stems back to WHY COULDN'T MY SOB WH KEEP HIS SNAKE IN THE CAGE.


me: BS 39 | stbxWH: 46
DD14, DS2
DDAY: Aug12... A continued "underground"
Separated Nov13- OC due June14

Posts: 118 | Registered: Sep 2013
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 4:58 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your plan is already a good one. Thanksgiving, nope I wouldn't. Let him see a holiday without what he thought wasn't important.
Take the time off and figure things out! Enjoy your time off with your kids.
WHY COULDN'T MY SOB WH KEEP HIS SNAKE IN THE CAGE.

Yes, we all seem to want an answer for that one.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2141 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
fourever
♀ Member
Member # 30631
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are amazing. I think, that this is just what the Dr ordered for Mr. "I'm keeping my girlfriend". Amazing what a little reality does, Right?

Let him have Thanksgiving without his family. Give him a time to call the kids, perhaps 5 minutes, right before dinner, them they have to go. Do not talk to him yourself.

You have every right to make any decision you want. Weather that is to take him back, to send him on his way. But, guess what, IT IS GOING TO BE YOUR DECISION! NOT HIS, Not anyones. AND, It's going to be on YOUR terms only. That is your right.

Based on what he does next, you will know I think if he's worthy of raising your family and being your husband. PERIOD.

Where he goes, stays, eats, washes, is not your concern at the moment. REALITY.

Have a very wonderful Thanksgiving with the kids.


In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.

Always, tell the other BS! Always!

"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!


Posts: 873 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Northeast
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 5:52 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Snake? You are being generous.

I hope you are able to enjoy your Thanksgiving without him. He needs to face the consequences of his choices. I'm relieved to hear that you have a few weeks at home to get used to the new normal and to figure out what you are going to do. Hang in there!!


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2115 | Registered: Oct 2012
NewMom0220
♀ Member
Member # 39036
Default  Posted: 5:58 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would say no. I learned long ago on this site that you can't pretend to be a family with someone who is doing hurtful things toward you and your children. It only sends the message that you are ok with his behavior. A consequence of infidelity, lying, cheating, and not putting your family first is losing the happy times. I know it's hard on the kiddos but he is excluded from family functions because of the decisions he is making, not you.

Sending you strength for this holiday.


Me: BS 36
Him: WS 37
14 month old DS
Married 5 years, together 8, DIVORCING!!! (taking forever)
DDay: 3/1/13 (4 Month PA while I was pregnant)
Sometimes all you have to do is forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.

Posts: 329 | Registered: Apr 2013
prowoman
♀ Member
Member # 40761
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Snake? You are being generous.

HAHAHA thanks for the giggle. And yes. VERY generous. Snakes are firmer too.


me: BS 39 | stbxWH: 46
DD14, DS2
DDAY: Aug12... A continued "underground"
Separated Nov13- OC due June14

Posts: 118 | Registered: Sep 2013
damncutekitty
♀ Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He wants to play family when it works for him. You and your children are not accessories to be paraded around when he needs to make himself look good.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49446 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
Topic Posts: 7

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