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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I love/hate you Facebook
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Facebook Pros:

1. I have rekindled some dear friendships
2. Seeing my friends/family's pictures of their kids growing up
3. Keeping in touch with people I want to keep in touch with but I don't necessarily want them an everyday part of my life
3. I haven't used email with friends/family for so long. Facebook is so much easier. I don't even know their email addresses anymore and I'm sure they don't use email much either.
4. Sharing pictures and stories about my boys. I love to share them. I am so proud of them.


Facebook cons:

1. FB helps me a false sense of security, making me feel less lonely. When it's up I know that there is always someone at my fingertips to chat with. Or there is someone posting something new to read. But it is a false sense of security. And when I am on FB I am not doing anything else...reading, watching t.v. movies, getting out...doing anything. I don't want to face being truly ALONE. I am wasting sooooo much time on there just avoiding life. I'll tell myself I'm only going on for 5 minutes to take a quick look and it turns into hours at night.
2. Seeing people's happy together families on Christmas morning, Easter Sunday, or whenever makes my heart ache. I'm happy for them but I also want to poke my eyes out with a blunt object.
3. Seeing people get into new relationships and they are soooo happy. And I can't get past my insecurities and fear of getting hurt to make it past one date with anyone.
4. It's such a time suck. Such an easy way to avoid everything and everyone.

I tried deativating FB before but it is so easy to active again it was stupid.

I don't want to permanently delete it because of the reasons above. But I'm having such a hard time trying to find a healthy balance. :(

[This message edited by ruinedandbroken at 9:27 AM, November 28th (Thursday)]


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Would it help to set a specific time limit for FB, like 15 minutes, and set a timer? When the timer goes off, make yourself close the window and move along.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25776 | Registered: Aug 2011
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 9:36 AM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmmm...I like the timer idea. I may try that. Maybe I'll set it high to begin with and then decrease by 5-10 min. each week.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
ninebark
♀ Member
Member # 24534
Default  Posted: 11:06 AM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh i know how you feel, I am a facebook junkie..lol.

But that is how I communicate with my reading club, my running club, DS' sports, friends...etc.

The time limit is a good idea.

[This message edited by ninebark at 11:06 AM, November 28th (Thursday)]


BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.

Posts: 630 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Canada
Thefly559
♂ Member
Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Facebook is for those who want to live in fantasy. It's poison. It allows people to escape like drugs. I avoid it like the plaque. My opinion.


"what does not kill you , makes you stronger"

Posts: 684 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When my partner left me, I couldn't handle the emotions and triggers of facebook, and I didn't just deactivate..I deleted.
I am SO glad I did it.
It's way too triggering for me.


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Google tomato timer - it might help set limits. Helped me a lot in school to limit my surf time


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 1:30 PM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm part of an online mothers group (closed FB page) - one of the members posted that she was leaving the group for a time because she had been trying to conceive their second child for 2 years and she was finding it tough seeing all of the second, third pregnancies belly photos/updates/babies.

I told her I completely understood but that it does pass. In the early days it was agony reading everyone's family updates and seeing their happy snaps. I felt like a terrible person for seething about it. I didn't like who I had become.

But it was temporary.

I get it.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 8

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