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Newest Member: graspingstraws99 (45451)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Thanksgiving gift six years later
ming56
♂ Member
Member # 19505
Default  Posted: 4:18 PM, November 29th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So could not help but share this story...

Six years ago on Christmas eve of all days I discovered a note that quoted my wife's therapist asking her how she could love me and continue to cheat on me. This came three months after finding questionable texts and high intensity investigating in the interim. That discovery really knocked the wind out of my sails. Of course she tried to explain it away and the spiral of uncertainty continued for another six months before reaching a climax the following summer when she finally admitted to everything and we started the long road back to reconciliation.

My wife maintained and has continued to maintain that it was an EA and never physical. Of course not splitting hairs, kissing once (not initiated by her), and sending selfies over the phone would make it physical in some eyes, but I always felt uncertain about the full physical deed, and a big part of that was because of her ex-therapist's comment.

So fast forward six years and we are doing great. I let go of the nagging question regarding a full fledged PA and forgave and she did remarkable recovery work in AA and individual as well as family therapy with me. She is a diffent person then that wounded creature full of shame who was recovering from PTSD and alcoholism six years ago. Yesterday she attended a session of the all day Alcothon done yearly by AA, and was shocked when the therapist who I quoted earlier who she had parted ways with and not seen since that time called her name. Long story short, apparently this therapist had just gone through a messy divorce caused by her husband having cheated on her back when she was seeing my wife and now wanted to apologize for the manner she treated my wife at the end of their time seeing each other, and specifically for accusing her of cheating on me. I know that does not alone seal the deal regarding a PA, but it was affirmation of what she has maintained all along, and of course I now realize the details are much less significant than the results of the work we did, and that she is finally a well person no longer running from and afraid of confronting her horrendous past. All in all a very nice, if almost six years late piece of information!


Posts: 305 | Registered: May 2008 | From: east coast
bobf
♂ Member
Member # 41412
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, November 29th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for sharing your story. I hope someday to be sharing how happy I am and how everything is behind my fww and myself in this forum.


Me: BH early 50s
Her: fWW late 40s (kmom2662)
7 Wk OEA, Skype, Cyber
DDay 10-4-13
Married 20+ years
Currently in R

Posts: 143 | Registered: Nov 2013
BaxtersBFF
♂ Member
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 10:35 AM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's a pretty amazing thing to have happen. Happy for you two.


WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6099 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
beyondalllimits
♀ Member
Member # 29253
Default  Posted: 5:25 PM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happy for you!


BS (Me) 50
WS (Him) 51
DD #1 7/7/10
DD #2 11/30/10 (same OW)
Married 28 yrs, together 33 yrs

Posts: 288 | Registered: Aug 2010
Topic Posts: 4

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