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Newest Member: confusedwife32 (44902)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: the pay pal/transparancy argument
unfound
♀ Member
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, November 29th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yup. this is why communication is so important, even when you have transparency.

Me: fretting over Christmas and money and lists and BLERGHHH!!! (I'm the worrier)

Mr Unfound: what's up baby?

Me: (spewing words, not forming sentences ) Look how much...How will we?...Ninety five...Stocking stuffers... *sob*

Mr Unfound: (he's the even keel, cool cucumber one) *takes list* oh, I'll take care of xyz, lmnop, annnnnnd, yeah, qrs.

Me: HOW?

Mr Unfound: out of the paypal account.

Me: HUH?

Mr Unfound: The PAYPAL account.

Me: Since when do we have money in the pay pal account?

Mr Unfound: since .... well for months now (explains the things he's sold)

Me: Oh. I had no idea.

Mr Unfound: You have the login and password.

Me: I know that, but you need to tell me these things!

Mr Unfound: But you have the password, I thought you checked it.

Me: Nope. Haven't in years. Actually forgot we had one.

Mr Unfound: So you don't check it?

Me: *glares at him*

Mr Unfound: So, you don't check. Why??

Me: Cause I trust you, you big fart head.

Mr Unfound: So why are you mad?

Me: Cause you didn't tell me.

Mr Unfound: But you can check anytime you want.

Me: I KNOW! BUT I TRUST YOU! I DON"T HAVE TO CHECK!

Mr Unfound: Well that would have been nice to know!

Me: So I should start checking?

Mr Unfound: Well, if you want to know how much we have in our paypal account, there it is, CHECK!

Me: I don't WANT to check damnit!

Mr Unfound: Sooooo, you're mad because you trust me and don't check those things anymore? Gheesh, it was easier when you did!

Me: Huh? You WANT me to check on you?

Mr Unfound: YES! I thought you always did. At least you'd not be freaking out about this!

Me: I'M NOT FREAKING OUT!

*silence*

Mr Unfound: I can't believe you're mad because I want you to check on me, and I'm mad because you're NOT checking on me.

Me: we're pretty screwed up, aren't we

Mr Unfound: *smiling* yes, yes we are.


Transparency, somehow we're doing it right, but doing it wrong .

We both got a good laugh out of it, him more than me


ka-mai
*******************
From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14844 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
20WrongsVs1
♀ Member
Member # 39000
Default  Posted: 11:22 PM, November 29th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

this is why communication is so important, even when you have transparency.

Word.

Loved your post


fWW: 42
BH: 52
DDay: April 21, 2013
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
"Between stimulus and response there’s a space, in that space lies our power to choose our response, in our response lies our growth and our freedom." V. Frankl

Posts: 1165 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Redneck land
refuz2bavictim
♀ Member
Member # 27176
Default  Posted: 2:44 AM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is great!


BS:ME DDay: 7/18/09 Last of TT 7/11/10
MOW's EA/PA all were my "friends" but one


Posts: 2372 | Registered: Jan 2010
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:56 AM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get it!!!


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37561 | Registered: Sep 2007
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh god, are you two us in a parallel universe?


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4794 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I so get this.


I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. - Jeff Brown

Posts: 17283 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmmm ... gender issue, I bet. Just sayin'....

ETA: I fear I'm minimizing this issue. I apologize. I know I'm working to communicate better, but it's a tough one, at least for me.

[This message edited by sisoon at 9:34 PM, December 1st (Sunday)]


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10057 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 6:10 AM, December 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So... Once I checked WH phone while he was in the shower and there was an unfamiliar 1-800 number. I dialed it on the home phone, and it was a sex line! So i ran upstairs, ripped open the shower curtain and started yelling! He was calm... He said, "Steadfast, dial the number from my phone." That was the day that I learned that SAFE AUTO is only one number different than a sex line.

[This message edited by steadfast1973 at 6:10 AM, December 1st (Sunday)]


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 8

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