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Newest Member: wrongtrn (44612)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: the pay pal/transparancy argument
unfound
♀ Member
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, November 29th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yup. this is why communication is so important, even when you have transparency.

Me: fretting over Christmas and money and lists and BLERGHHH!!! (I'm the worrier)

Mr Unfound: what's up baby?

Me: (spewing words, not forming sentences ) Look how much...How will we?...Ninety five...Stocking stuffers... *sob*

Mr Unfound: (he's the even keel, cool cucumber one) *takes list* oh, I'll take care of xyz, lmnop, annnnnnd, yeah, qrs.

Me: HOW?

Mr Unfound: out of the paypal account.

Me: HUH?

Mr Unfound: The PAYPAL account.

Me: Since when do we have money in the pay pal account?

Mr Unfound: since .... well for months now (explains the things he's sold)

Me: Oh. I had no idea.

Mr Unfound: You have the login and password.

Me: I know that, but you need to tell me these things!

Mr Unfound: But you have the password, I thought you checked it.

Me: Nope. Haven't in years. Actually forgot we had one.

Mr Unfound: So you don't check it?

Me: *glares at him*

Mr Unfound: So, you don't check. Why??

Me: Cause I trust you, you big fart head.

Mr Unfound: So why are you mad?

Me: Cause you didn't tell me.

Mr Unfound: But you can check anytime you want.

Me: I KNOW! BUT I TRUST YOU! I DON"T HAVE TO CHECK!

Mr Unfound: Well that would have been nice to know!

Me: So I should start checking?

Mr Unfound: Well, if you want to know how much we have in our paypal account, there it is, CHECK!

Me: I don't WANT to check damnit!

Mr Unfound: Sooooo, you're mad because you trust me and don't check those things anymore? Gheesh, it was easier when you did!

Me: Huh? You WANT me to check on you?

Mr Unfound: YES! I thought you always did. At least you'd not be freaking out about this!

Me: I'M NOT FREAKING OUT!

*silence*

Mr Unfound: I can't believe you're mad because I want you to check on me, and I'm mad because you're NOT checking on me.

Me: we're pretty screwed up, aren't we

Mr Unfound: *smiling* yes, yes we are.


Transparency, somehow we're doing it right, but doing it wrong .

We both got a good laugh out of it, him more than me


ka-mai
*******************
From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14832 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
20WrongsVs1
♀ Member
Member # 39000
Default  Posted: 11:22 PM, November 29th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

this is why communication is so important, even when you have transparency.

Word.

Loved your post


fWW: 42
BH: 52
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
"Between stimulus and response there’s a space, in that space lies our power to choose our response, in our response lies our growth and our freedom." V. Frankl

Posts: 1092 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Redneck land
refuz2bavictim
♀ Member
Member # 27176
Default  Posted: 2:44 AM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is great!


BS:ME DDay: 7/18/09 Last of TT 7/11/10
MOW's EA/PA all were my "friends" but one


Posts: 2372 | Registered: Jan 2010
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:56 AM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get it!!!


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37162 | Registered: Sep 2007
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh god, are you two us in a parallel universe?


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4692 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I so get this.


If you can't learn to enjoy your life when you have problems, you may never enjoy it because we'll always have problems. - Joyce Meyer

Posts: 16859 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmmm ... gender issue, I bet. Just sayin'....

ETA: I fear I'm minimizing this issue. I apologize. I know I'm working to communicate better, but it's a tough one, at least for me.

[This message edited by sisoon at 9:34 PM, December 1st (Sunday)]


fBH (me) - 70, fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 9947 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 6:10 AM, December 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So... Once I checked WH phone while he was in the shower and there was an unfamiliar 1-800 number. I dialed it on the home phone, and it was a sex line! So i ran upstairs, ripped open the shower curtain and started yelling! He was calm... He said, "Steadfast, dial the number from my phone." That was the day that I learned that SAFE AUTO is only one number different than a sex line.

[This message edited by steadfast1973 at 6:10 AM, December 1st (Sunday)]


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 8

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