We have talked about doing just a religious ceremony and skipping the legal one. I'm still debating that as an option. We even though of getting married out of the country too. Our state does not recognize common law marriage but moving to a state that does has also been considered.
I am conflicted. I believe in the institution of marriage. Being cheated on did not change my view on it. I know that a marriage is more than just a piece of paper. Somehow i guess I felt that the piece of paper was important and granted me, my spouse some legal protection. However, it was that piece of paper that has allowed her to get spousal support from me. Have I mentioned how unfair I think that is!?
That piece of paper was a symbol of being married. Just like our wedding rings and marriage vows. However, it apparently did not symbolize the actions of my spouse (at the time). None of that kept her from cheating and I was living in a lie.
I love my SO and am truly committed to her. I guess I am so hell bent on truth and honesty in our relationship that if we don't have a legal ceremony, then we are somehow being dishonest. Even if it is being dishonest to only the government about our relationship. But, why does the government penalize couples that want to get married?
Has anyone else found "creative" ways to deal with this? I had one friend who suggested getting married and then file for separation later. I don't know if the government would combine our incomes if we were legally separated.