So, I am doing pretty well these days. I got more info ... including some detail on his physical affairs (yes, plural). I am processing it all, and I think I'm doing it in as healthy a manner as possible.
I have been dreaming about him though - and I wake up so, so, SO very angry. Like, I need to scream and hit things angry. It takes me a while to calm down from the seething feeling. Hard to shake. I'm worried my poor doggies are going to wonder what is wrong with me ...
My Shrink says I have a form of PTSD. I don't trigger all the time, but there are things that cause a "traumatic response" in me. Simple things, like going to the grocery store ... I will be minding my own business, shopping, not even thinking of WH, but then suddenly burst into tears.
Is subconsciously induced anger - that is creeping in my dreams - a part of this PTSD? I want to rid myself of it, just not sure where to start with that. Maybe reading before bed?
I just want to be healthy and whole, and rid of every aspect of his toxicity in my life.
Fooled twice - almost exactly 10 years apart.
I ran (a lot) and took up painting.
Also, yoga, meditation, and breathing exercises.
But if yours is more severe, you may need additional help. Have you asked your shrink for suggestions on what may help?
Married: 11 years, no kids
The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo
In 2003, he had a brief physical affair with a co-worker. That seems so minor now, compared to the multiple physical affairs he solicited and consummated via ashleymadison.com over the past several years, maybe even more, who knows for sure ...
So, yes, I guess relatively speaking, it is all fairly fresh. I just hate the idea of having any more of my life robbed by this - more than I've already allowed to be robbed, these past almost 11 years ...
If he gave me an STD like HIV (I won't know for sure until my 2nd follow up in February 2014) - can I sue him? Or maybe just justify killing him?
[This message edited by erzulie at 8:52 PM, November 30th (Saturday)]