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Newest Member: Greg (45364)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: should I be looking???
♀ New Member
Member # 40476
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, December 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I haven't posted in a while, our R has been going wonderful. We both have been working so hard and are so in tuned to each other. Here is the problem...occasionaly I find myself checking her facebook page. I know I shouldn't but I do and I really don't know why. They are not friends on Facebook or any media, there has been no contact since May/June when I found out...

I should not be looking right??? How do I break myself from it??

Any advice would be great!

ME: 46
H: 49
A from 3/9/13 to 5/13/13
DD: 5/6/2013
Married: 11 years
Blended family w/5 Children

Posts: 16 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ Member
Member # 40298
Default  Posted: 6:20 PM, December 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, you should be looking. You are not very far out from D-Day. It has nothing to do with R at all. So many people think they are R, and then find out that the A went further underground. Some people think they are in R and find out through constant check-ups that their WS has ended all contact and they are truly in R. It takes 2-5 years to get through this, and you're not very far out.

You keep checking everything until YOU feel you no longer need to. That's my two cents.

Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?

Posts: 379 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ Member
Member # 41195
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, December 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think you should to. In my case, there's no R, so I've removed all his family, friends, and blocked those I don't want to know about. What I don't know can't hurt me.

caelitus mihi vires
"My strength is from heaven"

Posts: 211 | Registered: Nov 2013
♀ Member
Member # 39803
Default  Posted: 7:46 PM, December 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are looking at the OW's page?

I struggle with this. Sometimes the looky-loo in me wants to see what she has put on public view, but other times, nah. The only reason I would think she'd put things on public view is for me to look at them (she didn't prior to dday - I checked.)

This woman is so bent she posted obliquely about the affair *while it was going on,* and I was probably her most active "friend" on FB. . .so, not someone with all her oars in the water.

me - BS (40s)
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months, EA then PA
In MC & Reconciling
An affair is a personal crisis, not a relationship.

I edit, therefore I am.

Posts: 2065 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 4

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