How do you love someone if you don't really know them? I want to tell my story but dont want to t/j the wonderful responses that OP is receiving.
You see, I DID know him. 2 years into our marriage he cheated on a test in one of his MBA classes. He was accused of academic dishonesty, had to go before a board to plead his case and he won! He had to retake the class and guess who suffered for him being gone two nights a week instead of one?! The thing is, he told me he didn't cheat but I knew he did and I just kind of threw. up my hands and said, "oh mrrachelc" 20 years later he admitted to it.
Seven years ago he left one firm to be the president of another firm. He stole proprietary information from firm one. A cleaning lady saw him take the stuff and it was her word against his. Guess who won... When I challenged him on this he says. "But everybody does it. They just chose to make an example out of me."
My point, why on earth was I so surprised he cheated? I shouldn't be. I DO know him and love him. But I can no longer be "in love" with him. Too many lies, excuses.,.. He's trying like crazy now. If he loads the dishwasher enough and puts the Christmas tree up without complaining this is a good marriage for him. He's pulling his weight. Hell, he's out getting me presents right now....
You get my drift...,
his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...