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Newest Member: Alaska77 (44743)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: T/j on maybe....
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, December 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How do you love someone if you don't really know them? I want to tell my story but dont want to t/j the wonderful responses that OP is receiving.

You see, I DID know him. 2 years into our marriage he cheated on a test in one of his MBA classes. He was accused of academic dishonesty, had to go before a board to plead his case and he won! He had to retake the class and guess who suffered for him being gone two nights a week instead of one?! The thing is, he told me he didn't cheat but I knew he did and I just kind of threw. up my hands and said, "oh mrrachelc" 20 years later he admitted to it.

Seven years ago he left one firm to be the president of another firm. He stole proprietary information from firm one. A cleaning lady saw him take the stuff and it was her word against his. Guess who won... When I challenged him on this he says. "But everybody does it. They just chose to make an example out of me."

My point, why on earth was I so surprised he cheated? I shouldn't be. I DO know him and love him. But I can no longer be "in love" with him. Too many lies, excuses.,.. He's trying like crazy now. If he loads the dishwasher enough and puts the Christmas tree up without complaining this is a good marriage for him. He's pulling his weight. Hell, he's out getting me presents right now....

You get my drift...,

[This message edited by rachelc at 5:58 PM, December 1st (Sunday)]


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...


Posts: 4786 | Registered: Dec 2010
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, December 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I knew my fWS too. I watched so many selfish self destructive incidents over the years. I suffered through each one covering her ass and picking up the slack to keep our family going and safe.

So..

why on earth was I so surprised (s)he cheated?

Because my ego was so big that I never thought she would risk losing the only thing keeping her life stable. I never thought she would hurt me in such a personal way.


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2560 | Registered: Aug 2012
Godsgirl
♀ Member
Member # 27521
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, December 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Rachelc, I so get your drift!!!!!!

I was more surprised by how well he hid his A's than the fact that he cheated. And the false R really did a number on me.


Me-BS (41)
Him-SAWH (41)
Together 25 years, married 21 years
4 precious kiddos
Multi DDay's,False R
4 Ea's, 1 ONS, 3 STA's, & 2 LTA's & 1 OC

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!


Posts: 854 | Registered: Feb 2010
Topic Posts: 3

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