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Newest Member: Riley1010 (44732)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Just wanted to mention how glad I am to be single
Eranda
♀ Member
Member # 6010
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, December 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have zero interest in dating, after two long-term relationships didn't work out. I could care less about men, or their issues, or what they want, or whatEVER.

I am so glad to just decide what I want to do and do it, without having to check with anyone or deal with anyone else's needs or opinions. I eat what I like, I go to bed when I want. I watch whatever *I* want on TV and I don't have to sit there bored out of my mind when hockey or golf is on. I don't have to pretend to care about stupid things I don't care about, and I get to do whatever projects I want on my own time.

I get to read and research things that interest me without having anyone huffing around because I'm not paying enough attention to them. I don't have to worry about saying the wrong thing or not being "fun" enough.

I can plan my own future and not have to worry about what anyone else wants. In fact, I NEVER have to worry about what anyone else wants. It's kind of heavenly.

I don't have to be disappointed when someone doesn't do what I hope they will do, or when they are selfish and thoughtless. I don't have to deal with immature crap.

I love the way things are right now. In fact, I cannot imagine that there is man alive on this planet who would be enough to make me change my mind. Every guy I've ever been with has been a compromise of pretty epic proportions in some way or another- and I'm done compromising.

I know I sound selfish, but truly I don't care. I've never in my life gotten enough out of relationship to make it worth all the crap I've had to deal with. So now I'm at the point where I don't want to be bothered with it, and I can't see that changing any time soon.

Yay :)


My Blog: http://allofthewaystohell.com/

Posts: 4226 | Registered: Dec 2004 | From: eastern PA
clralb
♀ Member
Member # 17185
Default  Posted: 7:22 PM, December 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Feels great! I answer only to myself (well, and the goverment and boss)


BS Divorced.

They were right about you.


Posts: 676 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: southeast
Snapdragon
♀ Member
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, December 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you for getting to a place in your life where you are at peace! I understand it completely. That is why, after 11 yrs post-D, I am still not remarried.

Oh, I've dated. Actually, I'm in a relationship now. But it is LDR, so doesn't have a lot of impact on my life.

I have thoroughly enjoyed being my own woman making my own decisions. I've traveled the world. I volunteer 5 hours a week and work 50-60 at a job I love very much. I have a home of my own and take care of it on my own. Hell, much of what I do would not be approved of by my ex!

I know I have become very self-centered. But you know what? I'm OK with that! I give a LOT to others every day. But I have the solitude of my own home to re-group. If there are dirty dishes in the sink or a pile of laundry to be folded sitting on the couch - my problem. If I spend my weekend in sweats and a pony tail, no one cares. I can visit MY relatives on holidays. I can have guests stay over. I can spend my money as I wish. If the cat poops by the back door I don't get a lecture about it. There are soOOOooo many benefits to being alone.

I'm happy to hear you are in that place, too.


Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink


Posts: 3077 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:15 PM, December 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

While I admit that I am still open to another relationship some day, I also have to admit that I feel much the same way. I bought a fabulous pair of dressy heels for the holidays, and I didn't have to hear about their cost or get interrogated about what they were for/why I needed them. I am doing all kinds of things over the next few weeks with friends and family, and no one is whining about when I'll be home and nagging about how long I'll be gone. When my kids and I go somewhere, we're no longer late, dragging along someone who doesn't really want to be there, and we can change plans at the last minute without dealing with anyone's disapproval.

Oh, the list is endless. If I do ever meet someone, I hope that he has his own life and is happy to let me continue having mine. Otherwise, we won't have a future. I lived by someone else's demands and whims long enough.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3575 | Registered: Oct 2011
meaniemouse
♀ Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, December 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG--I am so glad that there are others who feel exactly the same way I do. My life is finally my own and although I have responsibilities and obligations to take care of I am totally in charge of the way I do both. The longer it goes on the more I get used to it and the less likely I'll be willing to change it.


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2105 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
Eranda
♀ Member
Member # 6010
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, December 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The longer it goes on the more I get used to it and the less likely I'll be willing to change it.

That's exactly how I feel, too. Like the farther I get away from caring about the whole dating thing, the less I care about it LOL.

And Snapdragon- that sounds like the perfect relationship to me. Show up a couple times a year, we have a great time, and then we both go home

I had a friend who had something like that going for a while and I used to tease him about it. Now I think it was freaking genius!!


My Blog: http://allofthewaystohell.com/

Posts: 4226 | Registered: Dec 2004 | From: eastern PA
damncutekitty
♀ Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 11:39 PM, December 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Personally, I feel like when you get to the point where you are completely content on your own you have officially won at being single.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49468 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 4:35 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In fact, I cannot imagine that there is man alive on this planet who would be enough to make me change my mind.

I'm nowhere near ready to date seriously but I've met some fantastic men over the last year or so. We are still friends and keep in touch regularly.

I wouldn't give any of this up for any of them. That may change in time when I've healed enough and when someone comes along who is worth the effort.

The risk/reward ratio doesn't work for me right now. I honestly can't see it happening for a very long time, if at all.

I have to admit I do enjoy their company but I enjoy their absence too.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5535 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
ISPIFFD
♀ Member
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I cannot imagine that there is man alive on this planet who would be enough to make me change my mind.

^^^^^This. Totally.


Me: BW (54)
Him: WH (61)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1814 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
stronger08
♂ Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And now that you have declared your independence watch what happens next. The right guy is going to come along. And guess what ? He is not going to want any compromises. Because he is going to love you for who you are, not who he wants you to become.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5615 | Registered: Nov 2007
finallymefirst
♀ Member
Member # 41060
Default  Posted: 2:46 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was just talking to someone about how I have been sleeping so much better because I'm not awaken during the night by the sounds of loud snoring I may never live with another person again because being well rested is very nice

Posts: 119 | Registered: Oct 2013
PhoenixRising88
♀ Member
Member # 35214
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know I sound selfish, but truly I don't care. I've never in my life gotten enough out of relationship to make it worth all the crap I've had to deal with. So now I'm at the point where I don't want to be bothered with it, and I can't see that changing any time soon.

THIS!!!! OMG YES!! THIS!!!

May I change my mind one day? Dunno. Anything is possible. Right now, though, and as far forward as I can see, nope nope nope, gonna focus on ME. To be able to read my books without having someone pout because they're being "ignored".. HEAVENLY!


Me: BS (43)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(50)
D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/2013.

Divorce final 2/10/14.

Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.


Posts: 426 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: North Texas
Pawpatch
♀ New Member
Member # 41489
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well said! I had to giggle when I read post. I could have written it myself except I'd have to add make all of his appointments for doctor, dentist or whatever because he apparently has a phone phobia!

Posts: 12 | Registered: Nov 2013
Pawpatch
♀ New Member
Member # 41489
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just wanted to add I will look for a relationship one day but it will be someone who believes in treating me/others as he is treated.

Posts: 12 | Registered: Nov 2013
meaniemouse
♀ Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 4:48 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also---I just want to clarify for me this isn't at all about men. I love men. Some of my best friends are men. Some of the most important people in my life are men. I admire and respect them for the great things they do and all that they bring to my life. In fact, I've really only run into one BAD one!

No--this is about dating/relationship/living together/marriage. I just don't wanna. It doesn't have anything to do with man-bashing or anything else except for me and where I am in my life. Maybe I'm just too old and tired or lazy and selfish. But I'm ok with it.

Now--if I could just convince everyone else so they would stop trying to fix me up, well, that would be just dreamy.

ETA: But for the life of me I've never heard anyone put it so clearly and succinctly as Eranda.

[This message edited by meaniemouse at 4:51 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)]


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2105 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 11:29 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to chime in and say I am loving being single also. I love that I am making MY future for ME. I love planning vacations for IrishLad and myself to places we want to go. I love having control of the remote. I love being able to spend time with my Dad. I love being silly with my son. I love my friends and family time. I really am enjoying this time and I have some more things to do for me. I don't want to get sidetracked by someone else.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1728 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 8:34 AM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I answer only to myself
Well... *I* have to answer to my dog

ETA I took your letter, put it in my life terms and started a thread. I didn't want to jack yours. I love the letter you wrote so I copied a lot of it.

[This message edited by Exit Wounds at 10:47 AM, December 6th (Friday)]


Posts: 2483 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
TheAgonyOfIt
♀ Member
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 11:12 PM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm really glad all of you are happy happy single. I'm about to kick WS out, imminently, and I'm feeling sad. I've been single, I've been married and I've had a SO (marriage without papers). I think I'm done with men, and certainly for next few years, but I will miss them. I plan to fake it til I make it.


Me BS 49, ExWS: narcissist! Jekyll Hyde. Left in secret early July, moved states. Now homeless but getting it together. Necessary but difficult(!) transition! Sad sad sad but hopeful.

Posts: 552 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:01 AM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm happy single as well.
I like defining my own life.
I like not having to fulfill someone else's expectations of what a wife ought to be.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4610 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 10:23 AM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like that the only snoring that wakes me up is mine.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17341 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 21
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