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Newest Member: KevinTheAsshole (45445)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: new found anger
learningtofeel
♀ Member
Member # 39543
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, December 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi All,

So I'm suddenly spiking a lot of anger lately. Not sure why all of a sudden. FWS is continuing to work hard on his own stuff and we're doing good work in MC too. I'm still in IC and addressing lots of stuff. But almost every day something happens that triggers anger feelings. I have mentioned this to him, but it's really hard to talk about and hard to express precisely because we are doing good work and making progress. It doesn't seem right to be angry at him NOW, even if I am not angry at his current self but rather his past self.

I'd appreciate any of your thoughts on how to handle this or where it's coming from.


M 1989
3 young adult kids
D-Day 4.13.13
WS (him): 7 OW over 15 years
BS (me): had no clue

Posts: 101 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
KatyDo
♀ Member
Member # 41245
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, December 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All I can say is I'm in the same boat. I get triggered by similar circumstances. I guess ideally I'd want my spouse to listen to me express my feelings, since I didn't know either during the affair - or always believed him when he said they were "just friends." Maybe in a sense it's happening for us because we didn't get a chance to be aware of it before.


Married 7 years, together for 14
Me: BS Him: chronic boundary issues, EA for 2 years, DD Spring 2013

Posts: 194 | Registered: Nov 2013
BAB61
♀ Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, December 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think you're just processing, it's bubbling up to the surface. I'm sure it was there, under the hurt and pain. I'm so angry I could explode! I'm at a different phase, just started IC (WH started 11/5) and we aren't in MC yet. The counselor we initially saw wanted to address his PTSD issues first and foremost, which I get. So, anyway anger for me is ALWAYS there! Just let it out, tell him you're feeling anger, not necessarily about something that is current.


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
Topic Posts: 3

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