Every day is wondering if this is the day. Wondering if he was texting her on thanksgiving. Not remembering how we were getting along for the holiday (wouldn't I remember if it were bad?).
So yesterday, I start prepping "elf on the shelf" ideas. Last year (thanks to pinterest, can't claim creativity on my part!), I really got into staging the elf, and the kids LOVED it every morning. As I am shopping for props yesterday, I keep thinking, I was doing this last year and he was planning his A meetings as I was planning the elf.
I know, seems trivial, but I just hate that I have discovered one more thing that triggers me. I want to enjoy the holidays with my family and I know the kids are getting older and this tradition won't be around too many more years. Makes me dread the coming Christmas season as is also my first A season to get through. Plus had dreams about A last night (me sitting around a table of women I know IRL that have all been cheated on).
Just having a monday morning pity party. Any advice on getting through A season/holiday triggers?
(I did briefly mention trigger to WH but couldn't really talk as kids around. He apologized before leaving for work, but I really just don't think he understands)
He IS trying. We are spending time together, getting along, in so many ways better than we have ever been, but I guess today is just a "Why the #$%^ did you screw around" type day. Bah Humbug. Damn Elf
My 9yo DD thinks EoaS is creepy but likes this idea:
❣I hope my issues don't discourage ur healing. I've buried a lot & my WH hasn't done his part in R❣
I don't have a lot of advice for you, just wanted to say I know how you feel. My WH also doesn't remember what day in November he took his A physical. It is a special kind of hell, to be wondering each morning, is it today?
After I accepted that I would never truly know the day, I decided that I would name a day and that would be the "anti- versary." I chose a day where I feel fairly certain that the A hadn't yet gone physical (nov.1). It felt good to take control. It helped, somehow. HTH.
I wish you peace.
I hope she remembers though, and feels bad about losing a good friend with a wicked sense of humor.
I edit, therefore I am.
I'm sorry that something that brought you such joy is now a reminder of your pain. Maybe you should remake the elf, have it fall in a vat of chocolate and 'dye' it brown ... or catch it 'painting' cookies and spray it with fabric paint. Something to make it different. Especially if your children enjoy it.
I actually know the day my WH's EA became a PA since he msg her on fb about it. I know each time they met. The good thing is that she doesn't live near us.