The A's served to shine a spotlight on our M. It seems as though there were many issues that I blissfully glossed over and made perfect in my head. Reading through the forums I don't think I am alone there.
Problem is, now that I look at things more clearly I struggle with accepting some of WH less than admirable traits. Previously, I could have balanced out the good with the bad, (If I actually acknowledged the bad). But all this A shit keeps tipping the scales in my head.
I can no longer comfort myself with thoughts of 'despite any flaws, he loves me and is a good husband and great father'. Good husbands and great fathers just don't do the kind of shit that he did!!
I do see that he is 'trying', perhaps not in ways that I have specifically asked for but none-the-less 'trying' and I thought that I had forgiven him so... How can I reprogram that little voice in my head??