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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I'm taking my power back.
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you've been following my saga (or want to) here it is:

1) http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=514537

2) http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=514734

3)http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=515226


Today I received an email from the one who left me.
It blew me away. This is what it said. My comments to you guys about it are in brackets.

"You know goddamn well why I haven't responded... (No actually, I don't)
and I was getting your texts until the "you're not a man" one, at which time it became necessary to block your texts and calls, so I didn't get any voicemail.
(Chastising me for my "behaviour" as always, and blame shifting)

Your desperate threats to force me to respond serve only to widen the gap and cement my decision.
(I have threatened NOTHING. Nor have I tried to force him to respond to ANYTHING. This line pissed me off more than anything..."widen the gap"? The gap widened when he LEFT ME AND WENT AWAY WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. And "cement my decision"..as though he still has the power to decide if I am WORTHY OF HIM?)
I'll be back home late tomorrow night so will respond after."
(Home from your VACATION WITH ANOTHER WOMAN!!! No, please don't take the time to actually communicate with ME now that your vacation is over, you peice of shit).


I responded. This is my last email to him, and I have now blocked him from everything. His email shows me that he is 100% remorseless, and I know without a doubt that if he DID email me "tomorrow night" it would be full of rage and abuse.

NO. FUCKING. MORE.

This was my response, and now he is blocked.

"Save your typing.
There are no words left to say.
Goodbye.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYEDA3JcQqw"

[This message edited by Lostandpregnant at 12:32 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)]


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
Lola7
♀ Member
Member # 41195
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. I think your husband is just as delusional as mine! And my my he really thinks he's a fucking prize doesn't he?!

Complete. Fucking. Dirtbag.


[This message edited by Lola7 at 12:40 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)]


caelitus mihi vires
"My strength is from heaven"
DIVORCED!

Posts: 211 | Registered: Nov 2013
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes he does.
And I've enabled that by worshiping the ground he walks on for years and years.
He has always known I would always be there for him.
I've always had his back, always been loyal, always been there for him.

No more.

His email spoke so loudly to me, it feels like I am seeing HIM for what he is.


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
Secrets Kept
♀ Member
Member # 40630
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeaaaa.....been following your saga & just wanted to say....."woohoo for you"!!!

I know it still hurts though but so proud of you.

Keep posting. We are here for you.


Marriage #1=BW-46 (now)
XWH-Deceased on his 36 bday
Divorced in 1996
Marriage #2= Married in 2003
H-44
2 kids together-DS14 & DD12
"All this time I was finding myself & I didn't know I was lost"

Posts: 217 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest USA
browneyesbelieve
♀ New Member
Member # 41469
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((lostandpregnant)))

You are strong! You are so much better and deserve so much better than this POS.

God help the idiot that's shacked up with him because he seriously has deeper issues that will never be resolved and if she knows of his communications with you and approves, she deserves all the hell she's in for.

You might consider a restraining order if you can get one to show him you mean business.

(((hugs)))


Posts: 10 | Registered: Nov 2013
NoAnswers37
♀ Member
Member # 40592
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((LaP)))) you brave brave lady!!

Well done for blocking him - that cannot have been easy but he just seems completely out of it so it's the best thing you could have done for you.

I totally get the no remorse thing - I have never been so frustrated in my life with the re-writing of history and bullshit that comes out of their mouths, but never forget YOU are the sane, decent and honest one. He certainly is not...

We are all here for you and you are very very strong indeed. He's messed with the wrong girl this time.

Take massive care sweetie.


Live without pretending
Love without depending
Listen without defending
Speak without offending

Posts: 122 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: England
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all. SO much.

In case the link doesn't work to the youtube video I sent him for anyone, these are the lyrics of the song I sent him after I wrote goodbye.

"There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch, it's bringing me out the dark
Finally I can see you crystal clear
Go 'head and sell me out and I'll lay your shit bare
See how I leave with every piece of you
Don't underestimate the things that I will do

There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch
And it's bringing me out the dark

The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
I can't help feeling
We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it, to the beat
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

Baby, I have no story to be told
But I've heard one on you
And I'm gonna make your head burn
Think of me in the depths of your despair
Make a home down there
As mine sure won't be shared

(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
The scars of your love remind me of us
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
I can't help feeling
We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it, to the beat
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside of your hand
But you played it, with a beating

Throw your soul through every open door (woah)
Count your blessings to find what you look for (woah)
Turn my sorrow into treasured gold (woah)
You'll pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow (woah)
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
We could have had it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
It all, it all, it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it to the beat
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)

But you played it
You played it
You played it
You played it to the beat."

Adele - Rolling In The Deep Lyrics | MetroLyrics


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
sudra
♀ Member
Member # 30143
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey, you found your bitch boots! I'm so sorry he's such a jerk, but there you have it. Sometimes anger is better than feeling like a puddle of tears.

By "home," does he mean with you? If so, is there any reason why he shouldn't return "home" to his stuff in garbage bags on the lawn and the locks changed?


Me (BW) (55), Him(SAWH) (58)
Married 22 years, 1 son (19), 1 stepdaughter (27)
DDay #1 January 2004
DDay #2 7-27-2010 7 month EA/PA (became "engaged" to OW before he told me he wanted a divorce)
Working on R

Posts: 1492 | Registered: Nov 2010
PricklePatch
♀ Member
Member # 34041
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What steps can you take to keep him out of your home.


BS
Fwh
sorry post on my tablet

Posts: 313 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: pricklepatch
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope, he means home 2000 miles away. (Explained below).

[This message edited by Lostandpregnant at 2:24 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)]


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Its somewhat complicated, but we had a home here in Canada (it is 100% in my name and was my inheritance) and another one in California (apartment) that is in his name. His daughter from his first marriage was going thru cancer treatments, so there has been a lot of travelling back and forth.
But no, this is MY house, and everything in it is mine. We had planned on selling it and living in California full time after the babies were born.
Thank goodness I have my house and he can't touch it.
I don't even care about any of my stuff that is in California, he can pitch it all for all I care.
Except my doc martins I've had since I was 15. I'll miss those, dammit.

[This message edited by Lostandpregnant at 2:23 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)]


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
ascian
♂ Member
Member # 40304
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad to hear that you're feeling some power of your own.


Me - BH 39
Her - FWW 36
D-Day: 8/13
Working on R

Posts: 301 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Midwest
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let's hope it lasts.


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just cannot believe his line about how my trying to communicate with him in the days following him leaving me "cemented" his decision to leave me.

As if I am just sitting here while he was on vacation with her, hoping he might change his mind?!

Like, seriously?
As if I'd been imagining that he would be fucking her all week, on a leisurely trip, whilst deciding whether to return to me or not?! WTF?


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
iwillNOT
♀ Member
Member # 40605
Default  Posted: 3:08 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LAP -

You are awesome! You take that power back; you never lost it in the first place but he brainwashed you out of knowing it.

Ride this wave, use that anger, and if you fall off the horse just climb back on.

We are all behind you!


Me: BS, 43
Him: WH, 44
Together 21 years
Married 14 years
Kiddos 2,6,8,10
Dday#1 2004, 3 years after EA/PA co-worker MOW
Dday#2 8-6-13, 13 months EA/9months PA with co-worker MOW - caught not confessed
Rugsweep now, pay later. Ask me how I know.

Posts: 512 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest
BrighterFuture
♀ Member
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You rock!!!

So so proud of you. You're one of the strongest people I have seen here at SI. Good job for seeing through his shitty message.

He is no price. FTG! AAAARRRRGGGG


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 349 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LAP - I have been mainly silent, since you started here, but I have to say, you are doing yourself the biggest favor you ever could by taking back the power.

It is a no win situation, and really the OW she has done a huge favor, you no longer have to deal with his shit. Let him go abuse her.

Stay Strong. You deserve so much more, and you will have hit, because you demand it.

((((and strength))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8687 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
doggiediva
♀ Member
Member # 33806
Default  Posted: 3:49 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with everybody above me, you are very strong..
(((((Hugs to you)))))
I am glad that the POS can't touch your house or succeed in turning all of the practical aspects of your life upside down..

[This message edited by doggiediva at 3:50 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)]


Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite

Posts: 1242 | Registered: Nov 2011
Horsegirl
♀ Member
Member # 41217
Default  Posted: 4:13 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wait, is this my ex? Yeah two months for me and mine says the same type of stuff. I am getting stronger but you rocked it!


Me- 32
Him-32
Left me on 9/30/13 and moved right out
Divorce filed by him upon leaving
Living with OW

Posts: 64 | Registered: Nov 2013
ascian
♂ Member
Member # 40304
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let's hope it lasts.

Even when your sense of empowerment slips, and it will sometimes, that's alright. You've felt it once, you know it's possible.


Me - BH 39
Her - FWW 36
D-Day: 8/13
Working on R

Posts: 301 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 43
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