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Newest Member: doihavechoice (44727)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I'm taking my power back.
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 4:23 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so very, very proud of you. You are a woman of dignity and class. That sub-human POS is TOTALLY unworthy to touch the ground you stride over. (((hugs)))


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4727 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I forgot to write that I added this to what I emailed to him:
"Also?
I made you "Cement your decision"?
You "cemented" your decision (and mine) when you fucked someone else while engaged to me, and when you got on a plane with her, leaving a fucking tsunami in your wake."


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all for your words. If I hadn't found this place, I would still be a lump crying on the ground begging him to come back to me.


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
myowndystopia
♀ Member
Member # 41340
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome job! You've come a long way since that first trip out of the house!


Me- BS
Him - WS (the Grub)
married 28 years/4 kids(mostly grown)

"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain
Adele


Posts: 408 | Registered: Nov 2013
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you.
Make no mistake, my world is still very much upside down..but a good strong fuck you in his direction felt good. His audacity to still act superior and arrogant made my brain crack.


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
momentintime
♀ Member
Member # 16394
Default  Posted: 6:01 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now follow through and don't contact him again. If he calls you, let him do the talking, stay quiet and if he gets abusive HANG UP! You don't have to take any of his sh*t. Don't let him shift any of his fuckery onto you. He did this, he owns it. You are handling it as best you can. You and your babies will do just fine without him sucking the life out of you. No more.

[This message edited by momentintime at 6:01 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)]


BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd

"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl


Posts: 2941 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: New York
crazynot
♀ Member
Member # 24572
Default  Posted: 11:32 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome! And his pompous, self-regarding blocking of you because you dare to criticise him! Reminds me of my ex who did everything he could to tell me I was crazy to excuse his actions (hence my name... I actually went to see a doctor because I was worried I was losing it).

This WILL make you stronger and even when you have bad days (and I can NOT imagine how tiring and difficult life is with all those children and a pregnancy)you will not go down so far.

x


Me - 50
Him - 51
DDay 21 March 2009
Divorcing and delighted!

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.


Posts: 860 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
refuz2bavictim
♀ Member
Member # 27176
Default  Posted: 2:50 AM, December 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Remember how good this feels, when the next dip on the roller coaster comes. It will help!

Great job!


BS:ME DDay: 7/18/09 Last of TT 7/11/10
MOW's EA/PA all were my "friends" but one


Posts: 2372 | Registered: Jan 2010
ruby44
♀ Member
Member # 41135
Default  Posted: 4:05 AM, December 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bravo! Great job, I bet that felt awesome.


Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.
Lies!

Posts: 276 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Midwest
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Angry  Posted: 4:42 AM, December 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He left you alone with 7 kids? I'll go get your Doc Martens, and kick his ass with them! (Just like I did in the 90's!)


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 6:38 AM, December 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is still pissing me off today..lol.
Just his WORDING...the implication of "you're not sitting quietly waiting to see if I'll return to you, and that is making it so I never will now, so go live with what you've done".
It's so fucking typical HIM.
It brings me a bit of joy knowing that he's going to spend a long time writing a giant email about why everything he's done is MY fault, and I won't even read it. I know that whilst ignoring ME is one of his most favourite games, once he's home from his vacation and isn't distracted anymore..my silence and NC will make HIM explode.
Petty I know. But we take what joy we can right now, oui?


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 6:39 AM, December 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And steadfast..that cracked me up. If I had the money I'd buy myself a new pair to symbolize starting anew.
Someday!


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, December 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know what I hate dealing with on TOP of dealing with this stuff?
Pregnancy hormones x2.

I was feeling strong, and now I feel sad and shitty. I miss having a partner, I miss my life in California, I miss sharing the happy things the kids do with someone else, and I feel alone and abandoned.

This fucking sucks.


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
BrighterFuture
♀ Member
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, December 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs L&P. You will have the rollercoaster of emotions very often then it will get less and less as time goes by. Being pregnant makes it worse. I understand completely. You are strong and will get through it. Just don't give him a peak of what's happening in your life.

Crickets! FTG!

[This message edited by BrighterFuture at 4:06 PM, December 4th (Wednesday)]


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 340 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, December 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you. I guess after having a few days without crying, I was due for one :/


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
Lola7
♀ Member
Member # 41195
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, December 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It does suck and I'm right there with you. Every day gets a little better. I didn't cry today, but I'm sure I'm not done yet. We WILL get through this.

Thinking of you . . .


caelitus mihi vires
"My strength is from heaven"
DIVORCED!

Posts: 211 | Registered: Nov 2013
meplusfour
♀ Member
Member # 38958
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, December 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great job, LandP. I'm glad you found your b*tchboots and stopped taking his garbage.

While you are on a roll, I think that you should commence your child support application. Your babies are coming and it might be in your best interests to file first in Canada, before he files in California and takes jurisdiction of this matter. Please make an appointment with a lawyer (custody and matrimonial law specialist) as soon as possible and get some advice.

Sending you hugs from one mother of twins to another.


BW (me)42
WH 44
3 daughters, 1 son
Married 10 years, together 13
DDay 3/14/2013, four year PA
In R
"Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to the way they used to be."

Posts: 357 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Canada
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel like I'm going backwards. I don't know why.
I don't know if it is the fact that I know he's not on vacation with her anymore, that now this is what life really IS..if it's that I thought maybe he would come back from his little trip and be a different, remorseful person, I don't know what it is, but I'm a mess all over again.
The full blown panic is back like day one. The overwhelming fear, and sadness.
This is horrible.


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 4:02 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well all my anxiety about him emailing when he returned from his vacation was for nothing..he's still silent.
18 days since he's asked about or webcammed or anything with our toddler.
Unbelievable. I can't imagine going one day without her.


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's because you love her and he only loves himself. (((hugs)))


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4727 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Topic Posts: 43
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